Chasing The George

Oscars So White Again.

Who knew that the above picture would inspire my latest blog entry! I originally downloaded this picture on December 8th, 2015 because I was struck by its beauty and by its ultimate message of love and humanity without boundaries.

For those of you who know me, I become obsessed with awards season. My obsession begins in September (with the kick off of the Telluride and Toronto International Film Festivals) and it ends on Oscars night. Literally, the next day after the Oscars, I am depressed and it takes me a few hours to get myself out of it. Why? Because from September through Oscars night, I watch many films and I read many online industry sites like Gold Derby, The Envelope and Scott Feinberg. I follow statistics and projections and predictions. I feel like I am on the same journey with the nominees in many different categories. I love reading interviews and watching round-table discussions with the nominees. I get so invested because I’m POSTULATING that I will be a nominee as well. That I will be up there delivering my own speeches. Side note: I always cry during the “In Memoriam” section of the SAG Awards and the Oscars. I cry because these are my artistic brothers and sisters and I’m having a moment of respect for them. It’s a camaraderie, a fellowship much like you see amongst cops, firemen, military, sports teams, etc. and how they come together when one of their own dies.

So naturally, I’ve had a few people ask me about the current “Oscars So White Again” controversy. It’s taken me a while to really process my whole viewpoint on this. I’ve read different opinions from both sides of the fence. Some very hilarious, some very tragic, some very poignant, some moments where I could see the viewpoint from both sides of the fence.

And then I stumbled upon this picture. And I felt like the picture represented my answer. I could let the picture speak for itself, but it would be nice if you also got my viewpoint. This is how I see my world. I see my world through the lens of vibrant colors. I see the world through diversity, love and humanity. It’s hard for me to see “differences” or “different” because I see people. Straight, gay, transgender, black, white, Latino, Asian, man, woman, older, younger, able, challenged…I see people. I see two beautiful human beings in this picture. I’m not concerned that one is black and one is white and I’m not concerned that they’re both men.

I can only hope that Hollywood and other industries can see people as people. That they can see things through a similar lens. That we are based upon our work and qualifications. That’s why it’s vital to create for ourselves and show others what we can do.

If you had seen the courageous, bold, moving work that went up this past Thursday at the Richard Lawson Studios scene study class, that’s what I’m talking about. Had you seen that work, your perception of humanity would have been changed for the better. Three standing ovations in a row for three different pieces of work that went up. The class saw humanity expressed through the power of art on that stage. Robin Karfo, Beth Pennington and Carole Ita White each transcended race, class, sexuality, gender and age with their work. The previous Thursday in class, Reed Iacarella and I put up a scene from My Beautiful Laundrette that also transcended the same areas, that produced the same results and received a standing ovation. People saw two human beings on stage. People walked away with a more expanded appreciation of humanity. People learned something about humanity. That’s the fucking power of art.

I hope that people continue creating vehicles and opportunities for themselves to change perceptions and to create change. I’m fortunate to be part of the RLS where people create for themselves. Beth, Robin, Carole, Reed, myself and countless other RLS students can (and do) take their work out into the real world and make a difference. Walk the walk. Change viewpoints. Create more diversity in terms of race, gender, sexual orientation, age, masculinity, femininity, etc.

I’m working with an actress on auditioning technique and she told me this past Wednesday that a casting director told her that the only characters she is going to play are baby mamas and crackheads. My mouth dropped. Yes, I understand casting. I understand that we all have a first circle of casting of parts we can kill. And I even told her from day one that she could play those characters as well, but I saw more! I saw her potential. But to dismiss someone like that and to say that that’s all they’re capable of ever playing, pissed me off. Particularly (and ironically) because on this day, this actress was dressed to the nines to play a character that called for that look. Her hair was done, her makeup was done, she was wearing an expensive and powerful young executive outfit. I told her that this character was great casting for her. It really shows her in a different light. This character expands her casting. I believe her in this casting. She did a great job during our session and took my re-directs wonderfully and like a pro. And I have seen her tackle other material with me that was light years away from the baby mamas and crackheads.

When she told me what that casting director said, I looked at her and replied, “You are going to nail this audition today and then we are going to repeat this same audition next week. I want you to have this girl solidified in your pocket and then you’re putting this on your reel. CREATE THE EVIDENCE to out-create that shit!” She can put this character on her reel and send it to that casting director.

Create the evidence to out-create narrow-minded perceptions in whatever field you’re in. Create the evidence and change the model. Create the evidence to expand expectations of what women can do, of what gay people can do, of what a 50-year old person can do, etc. Create, create, create so we have more diversity to enjoy and celebrate!

The more we can create for ourselves, the more we can get to a place where we can see things like the above picture with total comfort and ease. It won’t be a big deal anymore. It’ll be a part of every day life and eventually reflected on screen and recognized.

That being said, I’m not mad at this year’s Oscar nominees. I am still watching the show. To be recognized with a nomination is no small feat and I applaud every single nominee in every single category. I have to appreciate and applaud these individuals for what they achieved.

What I Really Want In 2016

Chasing The George

Aside from the obvious goal of taking my career to the next level and ruling the world, what else do I really want in 2016 on a personal level? What do I really want that will fill my spirit? Some goals:

1) Meet my partner in crime. Someone who is definitely on my artistic career bus and supports me. Together, we raise each other up to be the best versions we can be in our personal and professional endeavors. Someone I can laugh with, cry with, rule with, feel alive with. Someone who encourages me to jump because they’ll be my safety net.

2) To experience various forms of art. Experiences that make me fall to my knees, that make me weep, where the Holy Spirit enters my body, where I have visions, where I speak in tongues, where my senses are assaulted, etc. These things immediately come to mind:

**The rain room at LACMA:

image

 

**To experience art together with my partner in crime

**Attend the LA Philharmonic

**Would love to see Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s magnificent “The Sleeping Beauty”. The first 45 seconds alone rocks me. I am seriously considering extending those first 45 seconds on Audacity:  http://youtu.be/hJkTvPXRztU

**Would love to see the German opera, “Der Freischutz”, by Carl Maria von Weber. MY GOD, the famous Wolf’s Glen scene alone is worth the price of admission. “Hilfe Samuel!” The pathos, the desperation, the evaluation and degree to which a person goes to get what they want:  https://youtu.be/rdUdnDpnqFQ

3) Travel! At least twice this year to decompress, check in with myself and reset before going back on my artistic journey. I would love to go back to Cape Cod and Hawaii. I used to visit Cape Cod every other weekend during the summer after my sophomore year at Vassar. Rustic, quaint, New England, beautiful beaches, great seafood. Feels like a different place and time. Must own summer home there. Hawaii…the minute I stepped off the plane, the ancestors of Hawaii entered my body and I had a religious experience. The history of Hawaii ran through my veins. Beautiful, stunning, wonderful. Must go back.

And while I’m at it, more self-care in the form of massages, acupuncture, etc.

4) KILL MY CREDIT CARD DEBIT MOTHERFUCKERS!

Writer Whore?

Chasing The George

I love James Franco. He and I have a special connection and relationship. Our chemistry is undeniable. I’m about to start the third draft of my screenplay where James is the antagonist. By the way, I finally have a title for it! But I won’t reveal the title until I finish this third draft and register it with the WGA and the U.S. Copyright.

Every time I read James Franco’s dialogue, I blush. I become giddy. When I read his dialogue, I hear his voice and I see him looking at me with an irresistible twinkle in his dark brown eyes. At 5’7", 167.5 lbs and 10 inches…….in shoe size…….he is my muse for this particular script. We love each other and I always thought we would be together forever.

But lately, something strange is happening. I find myself sneaking out at different hours of the day and I don’t want James to know about it. And to a certain degree, I don’t want the other characters in the feature film to know about it either. But James in particular because he is my favorite.

What am I doing at these different hours? I’m writing a new series set in NYC! And I feel guilty because I’m falling in love with the new characters in it. I feel like I’m cheating on James Franco. I invested all this time into James and now I’m investing time into these new characters. And like James, one character has emerged as my favorite and he might end up being the break out character of the series. He is scraggly, skinny, unkempt, rocks dental braces and looks like his brain is a little fried. I love writing dialogue for him and breathing life into him.

This new character makes me laugh. He makes me smile. He makes me blush. I find myself reciting some of his lines out loud as if they were Shakespearean sonnets. I have a visual prototype of this character and I can look at it forever. His eyes are also dark brown and he looks at me with a twinkle in them. And don’t even get me started on another character who comes in at a very close second place. At four years old, audiences will fall in love with this adorably complex character.

OMG, I’m having a fucking affair behind James Franco’s back. I feel horrible. I’m betraying him. Should I come clean to him? What the fuck do I do? I’m a horrible person. Then it hits me: I’ve done this before. I was in love with the characters in a feature film titled Love Returned. It was all about them. And then, when I came up with the idea for the James Franco screenplay, I moved on from Love Returned. I’m a fucking writer whore. Oh God, a writer whore. Brand me with the scarlet letter.

A writer creates characters in a particular world for a certain period of time. A writer develops a very personal, intimate and long-lasting relationship with these characters from conception to completion. Sometimes, completion occurs when the project is released in the cinemas, or on TV, or online, or in bookstores, etc. Completion could also occur once awards season is over or once a project has run its course on the film festival circuit. And once that journey is complete, the writer moves on to a brand new set of characters and begins a whole new relationship with them. Or sometimes, like in my case, writers will be simultaneously managing multiple projects with different sets of characters and worlds. I’m having multiple affairs. Oh God, I’m a fucking writer whore jumping between the peeps in the James Franco screenplay and the peeps in the new series. And oh shit, I just remembered that I recently revisited a short film script and made changes to it as well.

But wait a minute, this is a common occurrence in the literary world. For example, JJ Abrams created the TV series, Alias. He was incredibly involved with Alias until he turned his attention to creating LOST. LOST became his new lover. And he kept that up until he created and/or executive produced other TV shows and movies. He’s just ONE of COUNTLESS examples.

I have written two feature films, two TV series, a short film and a non-fiction novel in the last few years. I was madly in love with the characters from the TV series, Chris/Tina, before I moved on to the amazing characters in the feature film, Love Returned. Then I moved on and fell in love with the characters in the short film. Then I moved on to the James Franco feature film. Now I’m falling in love with the characters in this new TV series. And each project has that one or two characters who become my favorites: Chris and Diego in Chris/Tina, Xavi and Jordan in Love Returned, Emilio in the short film, James and Laura in the feature film, Pito and Dominic in the new TV series.

But the amazing and cool thing is that whenever I re-visit any of these stories, I fall in love with the characters all over again. They are all part of my literary universe and life. They all are part of an artistic theme and arc. Baz Luhrmann has his Red Curtain Trilogy (Strictly Ballroom, Romeo & Juliet and Moulin Rouge) Krzysztof Kieslowski has his Three Colors Trilogy (Blue, White and Red) Quentin Tarantino wanted to combine Inglorious Basterds and Django Unchained with a third film to create a Rewritten History Trilogy. Other writers have their own trilogies, arcs, series or themes. I feel like the body of work I have created falls under an arc. And they fall under the category of Urban Operas: Works that are cinematic, dramatic, musical, hard-hitting, real, impinging, tells it like it is, humorous.

Every character and world in each of my projects is connected to each other and they create something greater. The challenges Xavi experiences in Love Returned is no different than the challenges that Chris faces in Chris/Tina or the ones that Laura faces in the James Franco screenplay. These are human beings trying to survive and be the best that they can be against extraordinary circumstances and challenges. Even my non-fiction novel chronicles my own personal journey against a particular set of extraordinary circumstances and challenges during the summer of 2014.

I share something special with each character. Each one brings a new dynamic to the table. Sometimes a character in one project informs a character in another. Sometimes I recycle dialogue: I’ll take a paragraph or a monologue from one project and use it in another project and I’m amazed at how beautifully it still works.

Wow, maybe I’m not cheating after all! Maybe in this case it’s okay to be a whore. These characters and these worlds all take care of each other. They are part of an artistic whole. Part of the Urban Opera I’m weaving and conducting.

So now that I am aware of this, I don’t have to sneak around anymore. I don’t have to feel guilty anymore. I can embrace my whore. I can look James in his dark brown eyes and say, “Babe, I’m going to spend some time with the peeps at the new series. I’ll see you later tonight.” And vice versa, I’ll let the peeps at my new series know that I’ll be spending time with the peeps at the James Franco movie. I can tell Laura that I want to spend some time with Emilio and Jacob from the short film. And on and on and on.

I’m a writer whore and proud of it. Brand me with it.

A 7-Day Experiment

Chasing The George

I recently performed an experiment on Twitter where I time-lined seven days in the life of my journey and career administration as an artist. Every day, I shared with my followers, and with the world at large (through hashtags that would speak to my target audience), what I was doing to push my career forward. What this did for me was that it created a higher level of accountability. Once I tweeted out my concept for this experiment, there was no turning back. There was no way that I could not share my journey for the next seven days. Being accountable at a higher level created an environment where I couldn’t flinch. Where I couldn’t back off. I had to show up and deliver. I had to walk the walk. And not that I haven’t already been walking the walk all year long. And not that I haven’t already been walking the walk for many years point, blank, period. But this time, it was different because I was sharing my process, in real time, with people outside of my friends, peers, class and immediate community. And I had to share everything no matter how big, small, significant or elementary the career action was.

By day four, I completed everything on my career administration list and became inspired to add eight more things to it. It felt great to add additional things to my list to move my career forward another step.

Along the way, I received supportive tweets from followers and non-followers alike. I received likes, mentions and retweets. I also lost some followers as well. I wonder if they got turned off or intimidated by the fact that having a career actually takes work? Or if they got turned off because I posted a substantial amount of tweets and it started to feel like, “Look at me, look at me, look at me”? I was conscious of that and sprinkled in moments where I engaged with others and where I tweeted about other things outside of my career administration. For example, I took a thirty minute break from my administration and discovered the world of artist Roy Nachum. I love his work and he has four pieces that I would LOVE to own: “Kid King”, “Gold Powder”, “Brief Silence” and a piece from his “Blind” series. I would also break up my tweets by reminding people of my experiment. I would also compose certain tweets like, “Day 5 of 7 of my #ActorsJourney timeline…” so that people would see that I was experimenting/trying something out.

After seven days of this experiment, I put in 31 hours into my career…and this is with a full-time day job. Another week under my belt of moving my career forward.

And of course, celebration is as important to the #ActorsJourney as is the business administration of it. So I celebrated my 7-day experiment by ordering a copy of Evangeline Lilly’s book, “The Squickerwonkers”. I love her work as an actress and I’ve wanted to purchase a copy of her book for a while now. I mean, how can you not smile and feel good when you say, “The Squickerwonkers”? 🙂

And less than 24 hours after my experiment ended, an opportunity came my way for advancement.

Below is a sampling of the Tweets I sent out:

Going to do an experiment for the next 7 days where I post a timeline of my actor journey & administration. #actor #actors #actorsjourney

My #ActorsJourney timeline: At 7:30pm I watched @TipsOnActing #Periscope re: “Is Having Followers More Important Than Talent?”

My #ActorsJourney timeline: At 8:35pm I labeled postcards for commercial #CastingDirector mailings.

My #ActorsJourney timeline: 9:45am. At library to rent #DavidIves. Doing a scene with #Oscar winner @kellytighe.

My #ActorsJourney timeline: 11:05am Researching @HamiltonMusical by @Lin_Manuel. Yo yo: @lindsayhopper & I are doing a scene from it. Word.

My #ActorsJourney timeline: 12:20pm Confirmed 2 meetings. Now cleaning out my bathroom. It’s all about creating a space where art can occur.

My #ActorsJourney timeline: 10pm, spent 35 minutes making final tweaks on my new blog entry. Now off to dance for at least an hour. #Actor

My #ActorsJourney timeline: 9am, Posted new #blog entry titled, “I Have Artistic Tourettes”

My #ActorsJourney timeline: 12pm, career administration meeting with @SapirAzulaybe (one of the most beautiful & powerful people out there)

My #ActorsJourney timeline: 8pm, continuing edits on film script I mentioned earlier. Excited that actor Franco Vega wants to read it!

My #ActorsJourney timeline: 11:15am, Blessed to be surrounded by talented people: Justin Huen would also be great as the lead in my film.

My #ActorsJourney timeline: 1:30pm, Justin Huen is HIGHLY interested in reading my script. He’d be the lead. I’m thinking of crew to hire.

My #ActorsJourney timeline: 7pm, I have my target list of major management companies. Moving out of comfort zone & contacting them. #Actor

My #ActorsJourney timeline: 6:40 pm, Researching the casting directors behind three new TV series that look really promising & interesting.

Day 6 of 7 My #ActorsJourney timeline: 5pm, Researching & compiling a new target list of literary agents & managers. #ArtistJourney #Writer

My #ActorsJourney timeline: 8:12pm, Smiling at my growing body of literary work: 2 pilots, 2 features, 1 book, 1 short film. #Writer

My #ActorsJourney timeline: 8:37pm, Creating the log line for a new TV #pilot I wrote in 7.5 hours. #Writer #ArtistJourney #TV

Day 7 of 7! My #ActorsJourney timeline: 7am, Tackled the log line again for my new TV #pilot. This is truly a game of words. #Actor #Writer

Day 7 of 7! My #ActorsJourney timeline: 8am, Materials ready to go for #LiteraryAgent submissions. Will send after the Thanksgiving holiday!

My #ActorsJourney 7-day timeline ends tonight! 5:50pm, Here at the theater. Getting ready for scene study class, planning my next 7 days.

I Have Artistic Tourettes

Chasing The George

It felt weird not posting a blog entry last Sunday, November 8th! But I’m back! So let’s get right into it.

I have a confession to make.

Are you ready?

It’s something I’ve never admitted before. Not even to my lover James Franco. Not even to my second mother, Madonna.

Ready?

I HAVE ARTISTIC TOURETTES!

No, seriously. I have artistic tourettes.

Before I get into the WHY I have it, let’s get into the WHAT. According to the official website, tourette.org:

“Gilles de la Tourette syndrome (Tourette Syndrome or TS) is a neurological disorder which becomes evident in early childhood or adolescence. The first symptoms usually are involuntary movements (tics) of the face, arms, limbs or trunk.  These tics are frequent, repetitive and rapid.”

This paragraph below really resonated with me:

“Many persons report what are described as premonitory urges – the urge to perform a motor activity. Other symptoms such as touching, repetitive thoughts and movements and compulsions can occur.”

That’s it! That’s exactly what I have! I have the URGE TO PERFORM A MOTOR ACTIVITY on a daily basis. COMPULSIONS. In other words, I have a compulsion to be an artist 24/7. And this compulsion to be an artist expresses itself in the form of motor activities. Okay, who’s still with me on this one? Have I lost you yet? Have I lost the plot? Or do you FEEL what I’m saying and you’re yelling “AMEN!” right now?!

And whenever I’m in public, the compulsion is at its highest. I mean, come on, it’s a free audience waiting to receive your brilliance. For example, I’m currently experiencing the “joys” of public transportation here in Los Angeles. Yes, Los Angeles has a public transportation system. I know, I know, it’s hard to believe since it feels like everyone drives. Now, is the LA public transportation system as extensive as the one in NYC? No, but Los Angeles DOES have a public transportation system. Anyway, I’m on public transportation because my “Tesla” is currently at Express Auto Shop. Sam and his crew are simply THE BEST. Here’s their address and tell them George Ortiz sent you: 8927 W. Pico Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90035.

Anyway, taking public transportation and being forced to interact with people has been an interesting learning experience. We spend so much time in our cars that we start losing touch with human connection. We start forgetting how to interact with people and how to handle and manage energy. Taking the train and bus has been a great way for me to observe people and life. As actors, we sometimes say, “The character would never do that” or “That’s too big/bold of a choice to make”. Um, stop for a second and take a look at LIFE and you’ll see the bold, crazy, daring, evaluated choices that people make on a daily basis. They are committed to their choices, they are moment to moment and they let their scene have a beginning, middle and end LOL.

Anyway, when I stand on the subway platform or I’m walking down the streets to the train station, and I have my headphones on for example, I can’t help but perform. The streets, the subway platform, the bus stop feels like a stage and it seems like such a waste to not take advantage of it. I’ll be walking down the street and then all of sudden, all of a sudden, all of a sudden, WOO HOO! I’ll start dance-walking. I’ll be in the zone with my music. I’m moment to moment with the music and my body becomes the vessel for which divine inspiration flows through. I don’t fight it. I can’t fight it.

I’ll be standing on the subway platform and then all of a sudden, all of a sudden, all of a sudden, WOO HOO! I’ll start performing a monologue to myself. Or I’ll recite lines from an audition I’m working on or from a film (The confrontation scene between Woody Allen and Kirstie Alley in “Deconstructing Harry” has been my go to scene lately)

I’ll be on the bus heading home and then all of a sudden, all of a sudden, all of a sudden, WOO HOO! I’ll start writing dialogue for a script I’m working on. Or I’ll start singing. Or I’ll be re-inspired with creative ideas for my career administration.

At the supermarket, WOO HOO! HERE WE GO AGAIN! GET DOWN! Dancing down the aisles. My body becomes a vessel and Bob Fosse enters. Madonna enters. Jerome Robbins enters. Michael Bennett enters. Prince enters. Whichever musical act I’m listening to enters. But they filter through my interpretation and my experience.

I can’t help it. I HAVE to perform. I HAVE to create. When the MUSE, when the COMPULSION comes, I have to express it. I can’t NOT perform and create and express. I don’t want to be a regular, normal human being. It bores me to tears. I don’t want to be like everyone else. I want to stand out. I want to shock myself. It’s almost like I’m creating performance art in the public eye.

I come home and I see the courtyard in my building and it looks like a large arena with a raised stage and everything. And then all of sudden, all of a sudden, all of a sudden, WOO HOO! GIVE IT TO ME! I’m on that stage and launching myself into an hour and a half dance extravaganza with a beginning, middle and end. During that time, I go on the classic hero’s journey from Orphan to Wanderer to Warrior to Martyr–Read “My Story Can Beat Up Your Story” by Jeffrey Alan Schechter if you don’t know what I’m talking about 🙂 🙂 🙂

And look, I know some people look at me like I’m weird cause it’s more “important” to be cool. To be unaffected. To be glib. Fuck that. They don’t pay my bills. I do. So they are of no significance to me. If anything, I’m hopefully inspiring them to chill out, to relax, to get out of their middle-class thinking and behavior, to stop being so uptight, to have fun. FUN. FUN. FUN. My God, when did we stop having fun? Who said that being an adult meant that you stop having fun? That you’re supposed to be dead on the outside and the inside? Being around the public, I truly see how unhappy a lot of people are. And how people don’t like seeing other people happy. That only makes me, that only makes me, that only makes me, GOD DAMMIT! WOO HOO! GIVE IT TO ME! It only makes me want to perform bigger and harder (wait, am I still talking about art or am I talking about sex? Then again, I’ve experienced incredible art that was the equivalent to experiencing amazing sex. No lie.) And I’m sure there are videos of me on Youtube, but whatever, I don’t care. I don’t want to be normal. I am extraordinary and it needs to come out. If it doesn’t, I become miserable. I become restless. I go crazy. I need to stay sharp with my creativity.

I smile when I see other artists performing in public without apology, without fear, without self-consciousness. These two male dancers got on the train recently and did their thing. I loved it. And of course, the stanky, snooty, middle-class thinking people sneered and snickered. Why???? They weren’t bothering anyone or harming anyone. What makes you better than these dancers? Why are you bothered by their artistry? Why are you not smiling? Are you secretly jealous and upset that you can’t be that free? I’m inclined to believe that the last question has incredible validity as I remember a former teacher saying, “We criticize the things that we ourselves cannot become.” I applauded the two dancers on their bravery and their artistry.

On the other hand, I’ve also made many people smile because of my artistic compulsions. They’ll clap for me. They’ll cheer me on. They’ll ask what I’m on and if they can have some of it. I remember seeing the fireworks this past July 4th with a buddy of mine. Afterwards, we went back to his car and waited for the crowds to disperse from the parking lot. We were listening to music, talking, killing time. Before we knew it, the parking lot was almost empty. A great, infectious song came on and I told him to turn on his headlights. He was confused by my request, but eventually complied. I got out and started dancing in front of his headlights to the song. I felt like Nicole Kidman in that iconic dancing scene from “To Die For”. I got such a rush. This guy walked by and said, “I’ll have whatever you’re on.” I said, “I’m on life, baby, life!”

I remember jogging through Barnsdall Park in Los Feliz and I stopped by this secluded, quiet area. I put on a mini-concert to about three songs. When I was done, I turned around and realized I was dancing in front of Kaiser Permanente Medical Center. I looked up and saw a young kid looking at me through the window. He waved and had the biggest smile on his face. I don’t know if he was a patient or not, but I became his hero and brought joy and happiness into his life. Can you imagine if I held back my compulsion to create?! What a crime that would have been! I smiled, waved back and continued on my jog.

I guess the point of this blog, the bottom line, is that we are artists. How BLESSED are we to be artists?! To know that any given moment, we can create and express in so many ways and in so many places?! To move, inspire, heal people in some way. I am an artist and I have to share and express it.

I HAVE ARTISTIC TOURETTES!

According to tourette.org:

There is no cure for Tourettes.

THANK GOD FOR THAT. I NEVER WANT MY CREATIVE COMPULSIONS TO STOP.

I Love My Community

Chasing The George

I am privately working with a new actress who is interested in learning on-camera acting and auditioning technique. She sat in as a guest at the Richard Lawson Studios scene study class one night and was really blown away by Richard, his teaching, the scenes that went up and the positive community that was present. She really wants to join the RLS, but because she is currently enrolled in school, her schedule does not permit her to join at the present moment. However, she did express interest in taking private coaching sessions just so she could get a head start on her studies here. Richard, being an incredibly busy person, referred her to me.

We have just finished her second session and she’s doing great. She has talent and potential. I’m excited to be a part of her journey. But what also struck me about this actress is that she told me on more than one occasion that she has no friends.

I did a double take when she first told me this. “You have no friends?” She answered, “No. I have no friends. Didn’t have friends when I was growing up either.” I thought to myself that surely she must be pulling my leg. She’s fucking with me big time. How can this funny, talented girl not have any friends? So, I asked again, “Wait, you have no friends?” She said, “Yep.” And I immediately said, “Girl, we gotta change that! You need some friends!” I proceeded to give her some advice on where and how she could make friends.

I suggested she find drama clubs or other extra-curricular clubs in her school. I suggested she find a strong, female mentor. I suggested she connect with her guidance counselor or program adviser. I told her to do a Google search on free groups that meet around town that focus on her areas of interest. She also goes to church and I told her to befriend the people there and get involved in volunteer work with them.

She acknowledged all of my advice and said that she definitely has tried all of that, but with no luck. I’ve only known her for a short period of time, so I don’t want to dig in any further into what is really going on. But again, I just find it so hard to believe that she has no friends. She said something at the very end of our second session that inspired today’s blog entry (and how grateful I am for my friends and community.) She said that she drove cross-country to move to LA. And along the way, she kept praying that her car wouldn’t break down. Why? Because she literally has no one to call. No one to reach out to if that did happen. She said she would have freaked out and/or died if she was stranded in the middle of nowhere with no one to call.

I want to dedicate this blog entry to my amazing close friends and to my amazing community of artists. I would not be where I am today as an artist and as a person without the strong support of my community. Community is VITAL for any journey a person goes on. Art is a communal thing and you can not do it alone.

Interestingly enough, right before she came over for our private session, I was dealing with a potentially life-changing crisis. I was scared and terrified. I wanted to hide. But because I have a solid core group of friends that I could call on, I got out of my own way and reached out for help. I reached out to hear a friendly voice, to receive guidance and advice, to receive peace of mind, to get my fears and concerns off my chest. There is nothing worse than keeping something inside and letting it fester and build. I called a good friend of mine and he was amazing in terms of providing emotional, spiritual and practical support. I called another friend immediately afterwards and he too provided emotional, spiritual and practical support. But he also added another component that moved me even further towards action and handling what I was going through.

After getting off the phone with these two amazing friends, I felt SO MUCH BETTER. I was armed with tangible plans I could execute to handle my crisis. I was no longer in my head. I was no longer at affect. I was in front of my crisis. I was in present time and proceeded to quickly implement their suggestions. Long story short, I was able to handle my crisis later that day with success. And one of the friends I called earlier offered to be there with me when I did so. Without them, I would have faced a darker fate.

I’m truly blessed that I have people to call. This actress doesn’t. Looking back, I realized two things:

1) I am grateful because I am surrounded by TRUE, ride-or-die friends that I have nurtured and cultivated in the time I’ve been out here in Los Angeles. It has taken me time to really create and manifest the kind of friends I want in my life. These people are my family. And as different as these two guys are, they are similar in many ways as well. They both provided near-identical advice. They spoke the same language. They handled me with love and care. I am surrounded by friends and a community of artists that speak the same language and that take care of each other in beautiful and honest ways.

2) I could have easily called up at least 10 more friends and they would have been just as helpful. An abundance of options. And they too would have spoken the same language that my two male friends did. This is what I mean in terms of really creating and nurturing the type of people I want in my life. There is a common through line that flows through each person and any one of these people would have provided their support without hesitation.

I’ll say it again: Community is vital. It’s why I love studying at the RLS so much. We are a community. We foster and protect that. We understand the importance of supporting each other. Your win is our win. You can not travel on any road by yourself. Pursuing any career takes a group effort. Pursuing life takes a group effort. You can not do it alone.

Recently, Richard gave an ultimatum to a fellow student and friend of mine: Get your apartment together in one week or you’ll be kicked out of class for all time. Basically, Richard put this student on “terrorist apartment”. This was the first time anyone has ever been put on terrorist apartment and it was drawn from the concept of “terrorist theater”.

Terrorist theater was created by master teacher and director Milton Katselas as a way to get actors-who should be working in the industry-working. If an actor had been in class for a while, but hadn’t been working professionally in the industry, then Milton or a fellow teacher would put the student on terrorist theater. The student then had six to eight weeks to book a paid acting job. If they didn’t, then they were kicked out of school for all time. They could never return, even if they won an Oscar. Terrorist theater lights a fire under asses and puts actors at a high level of cause. Because class means so much to them, and they don’t want to lose it, they begin to administer their careers at an exponentially higher level to get off of terrorist theater. They attack their careers in a way that they have never done before. “No” is not an option and they turn over every stone to book a job. It’s all about “yes” and they really understand the hustle it takes to get work. The success rate of terrorist theater is high and I have seen many students book paid acting jobs as a result of it.

So, this student was put on terrorist apartment because they have a long history of hoarding and it was affecting their personal and professional life. Previous soft attempts to handle their problem failed. Terrorist apartment was the final solution. Now, this student is a gem of a person. They put more hours into their career than anyone else. They put up more scenes in class than anyone else. They support their fellow artists more than anyone else. They are very talented and so fucking cast-able it’s not even funny. And so when this student was put on terrorist apartment, I became emotional because I knew how much they meant to me and to the RLS community. This student is like family and I didn’t want to see them go. And it was beautiful to see how quickly people in class rallied together that same night to help the student out. People stepped up and donated their time to support one of their own. I went over to their place with my friend Lindsay and we were there for three hours. It was such an honor and privilege to help and I felt a sense of spiritual rejuvenation. The community came together because this student is always there for them.

Look guys, what you put out there is what you get back. And I don’t mean in a superficial, fake, phony way. Give and support in genuine, loving, caring ways. Give because you care and because you give a shit. Give because that’s what community and love is all about. Because at some point, we will all be in a position where we will need love and help as well.

Find a community. Or build one. Know the type of people you want to surround yourself with and why and make that happen. Community is so important!

I am so honored, blessed and grateful to have my close group of friends, but I am also thankful to have an amazing and inspiring community at large like the RLS. There is nothing more satisfying than giving back and helping because there were times where I needed help and I received it. I remember a time when I didn’t have money for food. I was so strapped for cash. And I’ll never forget the delicious, hearty meals that DawnMarie Ferrara and Nayo Wallace prepared for me until I could get back on my feet. I’ll never forget how KC Sterling and Michael Manuel Sanders offered to design my first apartment in LA and brought my design concepts to life. I’ll never forget Jonathan Mateer for taking me into his home after I broke up with my ex so that I could start a new chapter in my life and heal on different levels. I’ll never forget Angie Russell and Michael Manuel Sanders for giving me rides home after class whenever my car was in the shop. Angie Russell for creating care packages for me. I’ll never forget Geri Atos for buying me a brand new iPad Air so I wouldn’t fall behind on my work when she discovered I was computer-less. I’ll never forget all the times Richard Lawson picked me up when I wanted to quit and encouraged me to go on. I’ll never forget Taylor Hawthorne for stepping up to be the first AD on a pilot I directed. I’ll never forget the countless persons that have hired me as a career administration consultant to put extra money in my pockets. I can go on and on. So there is no greater feeling than giving back.

Now, am I always able to give back? No. And when I’m unable to, I feel awful. But when I do give, I fucking give. Here are a FEW recent examples of me giving back to my friends and community: Being an extra on the set of a fellow classmate’s first short film that she wrote; going to see a fellow classmate in a play; going to see fellow friends in a hilarious monthly show called “Rise and Shine With Bette and Juliette”; giving money to a classmate’s fundraising campaign; texting my friend everyday to make sure she filmed her original character and uploaded the videos onto YouTube; watching and promoting various works by friends, classmates and peers on YouTube, on TV or in the cinemas.

Whether it’s the entertainment business or another business, you can’t go on the journey alone. And in your personal life, you can’t go on the journey alone either. Community is vital. Community is essential. Community has saved me. Whenever Richard talks about the importance of community, he always brings up this quote by American anthropologist Ralph Linton–and I couldn’t agree more:

“All human beings live as members of organized groups and have their fate inextricably bound up with that of the group to which they belong.”

Interestingly enough, this quote can be about positive or negative groups. Hopefully, you choose to create and cultivate positive groups.

Thank you to my friends. Thank you to my community. I would not be where I am today without your love, friendship, care, guidance and tough love.

By the way, my friend got off of terrorist theater! So go win that Oscar now and bring it back home baby!

Why The Fuck Am I Here?!

Chasing The George

It’s always interesting how the topics for my blog entries come up. Sometimes I know ahead of time what my next blog entry will be about. And other times, the topic hits me a day or two before Sunday’s deadline. Today’s blog entry is an example of the latter. I really didn’t know what I wanted to share in terms of my artistic journey, my process, my career wins or my career strategies…until a good friend of mine texted me today and said, “I just got off the phone with Michael. I’m trying to realize what my true raison d’être is. I need some guidance.”

I proceeded to offer my guidance in this area and shared my raison d’être to help her see an example of one that is personal and that resonates. And then it hit me that I would love to share my raison d’être with you all!

Raison d’être translates into “reason for being; the reason for which a person exists.”

I study at the Richard Lawson Studios and one of the cornerstones of the teaching is for students to have and be empowered by their own business plan. At the RLS, we call it a Declaration of Independence or DOIN’ for short. It’s a vital document for all of us to have because it’s the guide and plan of attack for our careers. Every business and organization has a business plan that they follow so that they can build, evolve, thrive and succeed. What most actors fail to realize is that they are a business too and must treat themselves as such. The DOIN’ keeps an actor/artist on track with the help of different components like postulates, goals, policies, administration plans, affirmations, etc.

All of these components are vital, but the most important one is the raison d’être. That is the first component you see in the DOIN’ template. Why? Because it’s your reason for being! Your reason for being on this planet! The reason why you get up every day to pursue the career of your dreams and not a career in another field. Your raison d’être is the engine for the entire DOIN’ and the engine for your life. Your raison d’être sits at the top of your business plan and influences everything that comes after it.

Now, I know some of you may feel a little daunted or overwhelmed with the concept of raison d’être. If someone came up to you and asked you what your purpose and reason for existence on this planet was, could you answer that? I mean, what a big, intimidating question! Can you look someone in the eye and tell them with confidence what your reason for being is? That’s a tough one! That can set some people inward. That can set some people into a crisis. That can scare some people away and make them judge or doubt their entire lives: “Oh my God! Who am I?! What am I?!”

My intention with today’s blog entry is not to scare you away. Rather, my intention is to inspire and to get you to ask the next question in your own discovery of your raison d’être. Unfortunately, I can’t give you a timeframe of how long that will take. It may take someone a few years to discover their raison d’être or it may take them a few days. Or a person may have already known their raison d’être since they were born. But one thing is apparent: when someone is clear about their raison d’être, you see it. You see it in everything they do, everything they touch and they are driven by it.

Look in your universe and identify someone whose raison d’être is clear. I can list many examples from Richard Lawson to Madonna to Angelina Jolie to Jesus Christ. Hell, I’ll even give a shout out to my ex. He’s a hair stylist and when I would see him work, whether it was at the salon or on set, I could see and feel his passion and joy. And in turn, every person that he came into contact with also felt his passion and joy. I could see his craftsmanship and how he treated everyone like a star. And in turn, every single one of his clients left feeling like a better person. He was BORN to be a hairstylist and he’s clear about WHY he does hair: To make people feel confident, rejuvenated and beautiful on the inside and out.

It has taken me a few years to discover my own raison d’être. It has taken trial and error, asking the next question and taking an honest look at what I’m interested in, who and what I’m turned on by, what I’m attracted to, what makes me light up, what infuses me with energy, etc.

My raison d’être influences everything from my postulates (self-generated truths; predictions) to the TV series and feature films I write to the scenes I put up in class to the people I want to work with. It influences the way I dance and the way I act (both onstage and off) For those who know me really well, you will see ME reflected in my raison d’être. You’ll know why I am sometimes eccentric and left of center; why I’m drawn to sexuality and sensuality and unconventional relationships in stories; why I’m drawn to and collect certain types of artwork; why I like to be subversive on an intellectual and primal level; why my stand up comedy is so wrong it’s right; why I am drawn to the masculine and feminine sides of me; why I hate middle-class thinking and behavior. You’ll get what makes me get up every day to pursue my career.

In a nutshell, I was put on this planet to open the closet door. And not just in terms of LGBT stories, but stories that people are uncomfortable with and don’t want to talk about. Let’s open that closet over there and talk about that gritty thing inside of it. Open the closet door to a different form of beauty. Open the closet door to different stories and faces. Open the closet door to wake people up and think! I’m drawn to the fringe and to the unconventional. Give me The Weinstein Company, HBO, Showtime, Netflix, Fox Searchlight, Annapurna Pictures, Sony Pictures Classics, etc. They push the envelope and are not afraid to get dirty.

SOME of my favorite films of all time include Fruitvale Station, Precious, Soldier’s Girl, Transamerica, Black Swan, Dallas Buyers Club, White Bird In A Blizzard, Gun Hill Road, Birdman, Normal, The Fighter, Raising Victor Vargas, Zero Dark Thirty, I Like It Like That, Quinceañera, Inception, Lars and the Real Girl, The Rocky Horror Picture Show and all of Quentin Tarantino’s films. Different, ground-breaking, bold, daring, unconventional, raw, gritty, unapologetic.

Here is my raison d’être:

I was always in love with film since I was a kid. I loved how magical film was in transporting people to another place, in teaching people something, in making people feel. However, I didn’t see myself up there. I didn’t see anyone who looked, sounded or acted like me. My experiences and stories were left out. Art is global and creates change faster than any other profession. Therefore, through acting and writing, I will infiltrate mainstream consciousness and bring a different perspective and experience to the table in order to open the “closet door” to people. By opening the closet door, I will expose the world to different sides of life with the hopes of enlightening people and changing their perceptions so that at the end of the day, they learn about, accept and celebrate each other equally as human beings.

I hope to hear from some of you about your own raison d’être!

Chasing The George

Shaking The Tree!

On Friday, October 16th, I had the honor of participating in the “Shaking The Tree” series. Created by the amazingly talented actress and human being, Eileen Galindo, it is a monthly series in which invited artists gather around a table and share stories around a given theme in front of a live audience. This month’s theme was “Skeletons In The Closet” and we were given the freedom to interpret that as we saw fit.

This month’s gathering of artists included myself, actresses Patricia Richardson, Eileen Galindo, Rose Portillo and Rena Strober. Stories ranged from reconciling with family ghosts to near-death experiences to self-discovery to discovering truths about great great grandparents during the Civil War. And as diverse as we all are in terms of coming from different walks of life, it was amazing how we all bonded as each beautiful story was told. There was something healing and cathartic about hearing personal slices of people’s lives. We all connected to at least one thing in every story that was shared. By the end of the night, we felt closer. We had a human experience. We connected to each other as human beings. I no longer saw Patricia Richardson of “Home Improvement” fame or Rena Strober of Broadway fame (she sang by the way and my GOD, what a VOICE!) I didn’t see Eileen and Rose of various TV series and feature films and commercials. I saw human beings.

That’s the beauty of art. Art brings us all together to experience something greater than ourselves. People were moved, impinged and affected throughout the night. There were laughs, gasps, “amens”, more laughs, beautiful pregnant pauses and moments of silence, more “amens”, tears and more laughs.

And that’s the beauty and intention of the “Shaking The Tree” series: To bring people together and learn from each other. The artists and audience members were inspired and walked away with a new perspective and understanding of someone from another walk of life.

I shared an entry from my blog (the one about discovering my true voice) and I modified it somewhat to fit the theme of the evening. Something came over me when I read it in front of everyone. I felt such a moment to moment connection with everyone which was reciprocated during my story and afterwards on a break. I resonated on a high frequency level. Art. Boom.

Thank you again Eileen for the opportunity!

Chasing The George

Skeletons In The Closet
The amazingly talented actress, Eileen Galindo, invited me to be a guest storyteller for a really cool, monthly series in Downtown LA called “Shaking The Tree”. I’m really honored she considered me for it and that I get to participate in it. And it’s no accident that I received the invitation as soon as I got back from NYC. There is something to be said about outflow equaling inflow. But more specifically, directed outflow. I spent seven days in NYC shooting a feature film and I promoted this incredible opportunity with intention every single day on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. I was enthusiastic, witty, clever, clearly in my element while on set. I posted two blog entries during that week as well. One blog entry focused on me heading over there and the other blog entry focused on funny things I said on set. I was on set for 12 hours a day. And so all of that powerful, directed outflow brought in this opportunity.

And as I look at the remainder of the year, I want to continue being incredibly intentional in fulfilling goals both small, medium and large.

Going back to the “Shaking The Tree” series which takes place on Friday, October 16th, this month’s theme is “Skeletons In The Closet”. Eileen is giving me and the other guest storytellers the freedom to interpret that theme–how we want–through visual media, songs, writings, etc. I know what I want to share and look forward to tweaking it over the next few days. And for me, it’s always great to share personal things through art because that’s where it has value and worth.

Upsets, secrets, liabilities, pain, darkness, etc. can (and should) be expressed through the medium of art so that it becomes both a healing and learning experience for the artist and for others who come in contact with their art. I’ve channelled a lot of my personal pain and upsets through acting, writing and dancing. My pain became works of art that affected me and others. So, it will be great to share my skeleton(s) in the closet in an artistic way for an audience.

If you’re interested in attending, please click on the link below for more info!

All my best,

Jorge

Link:

https://www.facebook.com/events/901783659916073/