Tag: writer

Here’s What Happened!!!

Chasing The George

So last Sunday, October 16th, I made a commitment to tackle a small list of actions that would help and push me into being the living embodiment of my postulates (The blog entry was titled, “This Week, I Commit Myself”: http://wp.me/p8uI5M-1u)

A postulate is something I see for myself and claim. A prediction. A proposition that requires no proof. Being self-evident. You see something, you work towards it and when you achieve it, it becomes déjà vu. A postulate is a way of life. I have to live my postulates and be them. Currently, I do a pretty good job of living and operating within the realm of my postulates, but I know I can step it up even more.

In other words, if I want to achieve certain things in my life and career, then I need to start living them even more so. Behave as such. Behave as if I already have them and achieved them. So I created this small list of actions to start moving faster towards the completion of my postulates. I already execute some of the actions on this list on a daily basis, while other actions on this list need more awareness and attack.

I committed to doing these actions for a week, and man, what an experience. Many of the actions on this list were easy to complete, but a couple gave me a challenge and I found myself flinching from them.

The areas I flinched on (flinch: to back away, to retreat) was speaking my mind immediately and listening to my impulses and instincts. This is the people-pleaser in me. This is the person who wants to run for mayor and be liked. Many years ago, I was running for mayor big time and trying to please everyone. That shit was so fucking exhausting. It was not fucking realistic. Who has time for that shit? As Bianca Del Rio says, “Not today, Satan, not today.” I’m not about that because it makes me weak and puts me at affect. I have come a long way from that person I used to be.

However, there is probably 9% of that people-pleasing aspect still in me. And that 9% held me back from speaking my mind immediately this past week. I spoke my mind in certain situations, but not in others for fear of rocking the boat and disturbing the waters. That 9% also held back my impulses and instincts in a few situations. Again, to avoid getting into “trouble”.

When I flinched, I immediately busted myself and asked, “Why did you flinch on that?” “Why did you back away?” “Why did you look the other way?” “Why didn’t you speak on that?” “What do you think is going to happen?!” Because when I do speak my mind and when I do follow my impulses and instincts, it’s fucking liberating!! So, I kept calling myself out every time I flinched.

It takes a lot of energy to be a star. To be a leader. To see and be seen. To perceive and take responsibility for what you perceive. To just be. To not fidget. To hold your head up. To be the example. But I want to achieve what I see for myself and so I have to work at it.

The more I do this, the more manageable it will be. So, I will repeat the same small list of actions this week–and beyond–so that the challenging actions become second-nature. A way of life. Again, some actions on the list were easy to complete and is a part of my everyday routine, while a couple of actions were challenging.

Below is the list of actions and my status report for each line item:

To sit in the front row (Yes. I sat in the front of my acting classes. I must always sit in the front row or be in the front of a group.)

To speak my mind immediately (Yes on certain topics and no on others.)

To follow my impulses and instincts (Yes on certain things and no on others.)

To lead (Yes on certain things and no on others.)

To dance while in the passenger seat of a car when a good song comes on or when the driver dances (Yes. This pushes me to be the fool. To be present. To loosen up.)

To spice things up (Yes.)

To dance in the streets (Yes. I danced and skipped down the streets of Sherman Oaks. I also danced while holding 5-pound weights inside of Target.)

To make extra money (Yes. I made extra money on three different occasions. The intention is to create a state of affluence and financial abundance. To know that I can always create money for myself.)

To be myself without apology (Yes. In terms of my point of view, in terms of my laugh, in terms of my reactions to things, in terms of how I dress, in terms of the stand up comedy I recently did, to dance how the fuck I want to dance, etc.)

To hold my own space (Yes and no. Yes in terms of allowing myself to hold space at Queen Mary Dark Harbor Nights, holding my space on the trains and buses, at Trader Joe’s on Sunday during peak hours when the Brooklyn in me went in and out with groceries in FIVE minutes. No in terms of fidgeting. No in terms of looking the other way when a few people looked at me throughout the week. No in terms of not speaking my mind immediately.)

To dance without consideration at the top of my acting classes (Yes.)

To continue administering my acting and writing careers (Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!)

To engage in conversation with a new person (Yes.)

To ask various industry people for something I want (Yes, yes, yes! I asked for advice and leads on self-publishing a book.)

To excite my agent again with a new piece of administrative evidence that will push my career forward (Yes. I emailed him my theatrical headshot template.)

To be submitted on 3-5 TV series and 3-5 feature films (I was submitted on several TV series including: Criminal Minds, Speechless, The Real O’Neals, Master of None, Dear White People, etc. I was submitted on 3 feature films: Skin In The Game, Patriarch, Killer Complex.)

So, here we go again for this week! Round two!

Creating The Evidence Equals Power

Chasing The George

Creating the evidence seems to have been the recurring theme this past week! I must have told several people that there is no greater joy than creating your own evidence. Yes, I love having representation in the form of an agent and a manager, but there is something really special and powerful about creating evidence for yourself. Evidence that is a direct extension and expression of who you are.

Several times this past week, I said to various people that when you create your own work, people look at you differently. They pay more attention. They take you more seriously as someone who is really about something. They are more interested. You’re standing face-to-face and toe-to-toe with other industry professionals with quality product that you’ve created. You’re in the arena with other industry professionals.

Two days ago, a film that I executive produced, co-wrote and co-starred in, “Human Revolution”, was submitted to Sundance! How freaking cool is that?! We also submitted to the Santa Barbara International Film Festival! How freaking cool is that?! And we have several other film festivals that we are targeting in the near future. How freaking cool is that?! It’s so exciting to get my work out there!

To be able to send people your evidence, your product, is amazing. Whether it be a short film, a pilot script, a sizzle reel for a film, a demo reel, a feature film script, etc. It’s incredibly empowering, satisfying and rewarding. At the end of the day, this product is yours. No one can ever take that away from you. You can stand firmly behind it with pride and joy.

People take me more seriously when they see how involved I am in the 360 degrees of my career. They see that I’m not just a devastatingly handsome face 🙂

My agent, who I just signed with, was thrilled that I write and create my own work. He believes that actors should create their own work in addition to the hustle that an agency provides when they go through the breakdowns, pitch their clients and negotiate contracts. I can create my own work and empower my representatives on our journey together.

A classmate of mine recently printed up a new script she wrote and held it with beaming pride. That’s what I’m talking about! That script is a direct extension of who she is and what she’s about as an artist.

Two classmates recently screened their pilot presentation and they talked about it afterwards with tremendous pride. Hell yeah!

This week, I’m going to push and shock myself with two powerful actions towards the advancement of the script I have written for James Franco (and for MYSELF!) By pushing and shocking myself, I am staying in alignment with the concept of “Chasing The George”. In this way, we can see the week-to-week progression and construction of my journey as an artist.

Like A Virgin

Chasing The George

Like a virgin. Touched for the very first time.

On July 1st, I had the pleasure of seeing the first rough cut of a SAG film titled “Human Revolution” that I executive produced, co-wrote and co-starred in. As the lights began to fade and the screen came on, my heart started to race. I was excited and nervous. Excited and nervous because this was my first time watching the film after months of pre-production and filming. The wait was finally over! This was the first time seeing how the words in the script translated onto the screen. This was the first time seeing how the performances translated onto the screen. This was the first time seeing how different elements of production from direction to cinematography to wardrobe translated onto the screen.

Like a virgin. Touched for the very first time.

Watching the first rough cut is like a virgin. The anticipation. The excitement. The nervousness. The heart racing. Not knowing whether the first rough cut will be painful or enjoyable to experience.

As the film screened, there were many moments where I beamed. There were also moments where I wrote down notes for our fabulous director and editor. Being discerning and clear with my notes. Some notes were technical. Other notes were storytelling-based in terms of when I thought a moment was delivered and we could cut out or when I thought a moment could be heightened.

Overall, I was very pleased with the first rough cut! And because a lot of pre-production went into this film, it presented itself beautifully in the rough cut. I could clearly see where the film is headed and how the final product will look.

Our goal is to have a final cut by August 1st. By this date, notes will have been implemented, sound design and color correction will have been implemented, etc. After this date, we will start submitting Human Revolution to various film festivals from Cannes, Sundance, South By Southwest and Tribeca to Academy Award qualifying film festivals.

Like a virgin. Touched for the very first time.

The first time watching this was great. Not painful or traumatizing at all. Rather, it was exciting and orgasmic (Yes, I had to go there!)

Chasing The George

Why I Write.

Nothing gives me more power than being able to write my own shit. The pen is
truly mightier than the sword. The keyboard is definitely mightier than the sword.

Writing allows my voice to be heard.

Writing gives me the opportunity to create compelling characters for myself that Hollywood wouldn’t necessarily give to me or see me in upon first glance. Or second glance. Or third glance. Or never. And not only can I write it, I can shoot it as well and present the evidence to others. Okay!

Writing gives me the opportunity to create compelling characters for my friends. I want to be on set with my friends!!!

As a writer, I made myself the boyfriend.

As a writer, I made myself the boyfriend to a transgender woman.

As a writer, I made myself the guy starting life all over again in the concrete jungle of NYC.

As a writer, I made myself the guy who stands up against James Franco.

As a writer, I made myself the guy who strikes up an unconventional relationship with a teenager.

As a writer, I made myself the guy trying to hold it together in a family business.

As a writer, I made myself the guy who maybe, just maybe, will finally follow his gut and his heart.

As a writer, I made myself the writer repped by ICM who has had wonderful success with his first two feature film scripts, but now needs help with his latest ones.

Writing allows me to be the things people don’t see me in, don’t want to see me in, can’t see me in, won’t consider me in, etc.

As a writer, I can defy the stereotypes that Hollywood places on Latino actors. I can write stories where I actually live in a beautiful home. Where I actually have a wonderful career. Where I actually have a college education. Where I actually have wonderful, informed conversations with Harvey Weinstein, Guy Oseary and Megan Ellison. Where I make decisions. Where I save the day. Where I save the world. Where I save a student. Where I save a community.

Writing means that the sky’s the limit.

Writing lets my imagination soar.

Writing allows me to show another side.

Writing allows me to be dangerous.

Writing allows me to make the world a little more colorful.

Writing allows me to play some amazing and cool fucking characters.

Amen. Amen. Amen.

Chasing The George

My Current Mood: Picture of the writer. Phase Two of my writing attack has begun. WGA registration, U.S. Copyright, Without A Box writing competitions, other writing competitions, WME, UTA, Paradigm, Innovative outflow. TV series, feature film. James Franco screenplay deadline of April 20th.

My Current Mood: Picture of Madonna. I’m passing through the challenges. Remember that time when…? Because I’m having breakthroughs and the bigger ones are coming. I’m the real motherfucking deal. Remember my face.

Writer Whore?

Chasing The George

I love James Franco. He and I have a special connection and relationship. Our chemistry is undeniable. I’m about to start the third draft of my screenplay where James is the antagonist. By the way, I finally have a title for it! But I won’t reveal the title until I finish this third draft and register it with the WGA and the U.S. Copyright.

Every time I read James Franco’s dialogue, I blush. I become giddy. When I read his dialogue, I hear his voice and I see him looking at me with an irresistible twinkle in his dark brown eyes. At 5’7", 167.5 lbs and 10 inches…….in shoe size…….he is my muse for this particular script. We love each other and I always thought we would be together forever.

But lately, something strange is happening. I find myself sneaking out at different hours of the day and I don’t want James to know about it. And to a certain degree, I don’t want the other characters in the feature film to know about it either. But James in particular because he is my favorite.

What am I doing at these different hours? I’m writing a new series set in NYC! And I feel guilty because I’m falling in love with the new characters in it. I feel like I’m cheating on James Franco. I invested all this time into James and now I’m investing time into these new characters. And like James, one character has emerged as my favorite and he might end up being the break out character of the series. He is scraggly, skinny, unkempt, rocks dental braces and looks like his brain is a little fried. I love writing dialogue for him and breathing life into him.

This new character makes me laugh. He makes me smile. He makes me blush. I find myself reciting some of his lines out loud as if they were Shakespearean sonnets. I have a visual prototype of this character and I can look at it forever. His eyes are also dark brown and he looks at me with a twinkle in them. And don’t even get me started on another character who comes in at a very close second place. At four years old, audiences will fall in love with this adorably complex character.

OMG, I’m having a fucking affair behind James Franco’s back. I feel horrible. I’m betraying him. Should I come clean to him? What the fuck do I do? I’m a horrible person. Then it hits me: I’ve done this before. I was in love with the characters in a feature film titled Love Returned. It was all about them. And then, when I came up with the idea for the James Franco screenplay, I moved on from Love Returned. I’m a fucking writer whore. Oh God, a writer whore. Brand me with the scarlet letter.

A writer creates characters in a particular world for a certain period of time. A writer develops a very personal, intimate and long-lasting relationship with these characters from conception to completion. Sometimes, completion occurs when the project is released in the cinemas, or on TV, or online, or in bookstores, etc. Completion could also occur once awards season is over or once a project has run its course on the film festival circuit. And once that journey is complete, the writer moves on to a brand new set of characters and begins a whole new relationship with them. Or sometimes, like in my case, writers will be simultaneously managing multiple projects with different sets of characters and worlds. I’m having multiple affairs. Oh God, I’m a fucking writer whore jumping between the peeps in the James Franco screenplay and the peeps in the new series. And oh shit, I just remembered that I recently revisited a short film script and made changes to it as well.

But wait a minute, this is a common occurrence in the literary world. For example, JJ Abrams created the TV series, Alias. He was incredibly involved with Alias until he turned his attention to creating LOST. LOST became his new lover. And he kept that up until he created and/or executive produced other TV shows and movies. He’s just ONE of COUNTLESS examples.

I have written two feature films, two TV series, a short film and a non-fiction novel in the last few years. I was madly in love with the characters from the TV series, Chris/Tina, before I moved on to the amazing characters in the feature film, Love Returned. Then I moved on and fell in love with the characters in the short film. Then I moved on to the James Franco feature film. Now I’m falling in love with the characters in this new TV series. And each project has that one or two characters who become my favorites: Chris and Diego in Chris/Tina, Xavi and Jordan in Love Returned, Emilio in the short film, James and Laura in the feature film, Pito and Dominic in the new TV series.

But the amazing and cool thing is that whenever I re-visit any of these stories, I fall in love with the characters all over again. They are all part of my literary universe and life. They all are part of an artistic theme and arc. Baz Luhrmann has his Red Curtain Trilogy (Strictly Ballroom, Romeo & Juliet and Moulin Rouge) Krzysztof Kieslowski has his Three Colors Trilogy (Blue, White and Red) Quentin Tarantino wanted to combine Inglorious Basterds and Django Unchained with a third film to create a Rewritten History Trilogy. Other writers have their own trilogies, arcs, series or themes. I feel like the body of work I have created falls under an arc. And they fall under the category of Urban Operas: Works that are cinematic, dramatic, musical, hard-hitting, real, impinging, tells it like it is, humorous.

Every character and world in each of my projects is connected to each other and they create something greater. The challenges Xavi experiences in Love Returned is no different than the challenges that Chris faces in Chris/Tina or the ones that Laura faces in the James Franco screenplay. These are human beings trying to survive and be the best that they can be against extraordinary circumstances and challenges. Even my non-fiction novel chronicles my own personal journey against a particular set of extraordinary circumstances and challenges during the summer of 2014.

I share something special with each character. Each one brings a new dynamic to the table. Sometimes a character in one project informs a character in another. Sometimes I recycle dialogue: I’ll take a paragraph or a monologue from one project and use it in another project and I’m amazed at how beautifully it still works.

Wow, maybe I’m not cheating after all! Maybe in this case it’s okay to be a whore. These characters and these worlds all take care of each other. They are part of an artistic whole. Part of the Urban Opera I’m weaving and conducting.

So now that I am aware of this, I don’t have to sneak around anymore. I don’t have to feel guilty anymore. I can embrace my whore. I can look James in his dark brown eyes and say, “Babe, I’m going to spend some time with the peeps at the new series. I’ll see you later tonight.” And vice versa, I’ll let the peeps at my new series know that I’ll be spending time with the peeps at the James Franco movie. I can tell Laura that I want to spend some time with Emilio and Jacob from the short film. And on and on and on.

I’m a writer whore and proud of it. Brand me with it.