Tag: actorslife

I Love My Community

Chasing The George

I am privately working with a new actress who is interested in learning on-camera acting and auditioning technique. She sat in as a guest at the Richard Lawson Studios scene study class one night and was really blown away by Richard, his teaching, the scenes that went up and the positive community that was present. She really wants to join the RLS, but because she is currently enrolled in school, her schedule does not permit her to join at the present moment. However, she did express interest in taking private coaching sessions just so she could get a head start on her studies here. Richard, being an incredibly busy person, referred her to me.

We have just finished her second session and she’s doing great. She has talent and potential. I’m excited to be a part of her journey. But what also struck me about this actress is that she told me on more than one occasion that she has no friends.

I did a double take when she first told me this. “You have no friends?” She answered, “No. I have no friends. Didn’t have friends when I was growing up either.” I thought to myself that surely she must be pulling my leg. She’s fucking with me big time. How can this funny, talented girl not have any friends? So, I asked again, “Wait, you have no friends?” She said, “Yep.” And I immediately said, “Girl, we gotta change that! You need some friends!” I proceeded to give her some advice on where and how she could make friends.

I suggested she find drama clubs or other extra-curricular clubs in her school. I suggested she find a strong, female mentor. I suggested she connect with her guidance counselor or program adviser. I told her to do a Google search on free groups that meet around town that focus on her areas of interest. She also goes to church and I told her to befriend the people there and get involved in volunteer work with them.

She acknowledged all of my advice and said that she definitely has tried all of that, but with no luck. I’ve only known her for a short period of time, so I don’t want to dig in any further into what is really going on. But again, I just find it so hard to believe that she has no friends. She said something at the very end of our second session that inspired today’s blog entry (and how grateful I am for my friends and community.) She said that she drove cross-country to move to LA. And along the way, she kept praying that her car wouldn’t break down. Why? Because she literally has no one to call. No one to reach out to if that did happen. She said she would have freaked out and/or died if she was stranded in the middle of nowhere with no one to call.

I want to dedicate this blog entry to my amazing close friends and to my amazing community of artists. I would not be where I am today as an artist and as a person without the strong support of my community. Community is VITAL for any journey a person goes on. Art is a communal thing and you can not do it alone.

Interestingly enough, right before she came over for our private session, I was dealing with a potentially life-changing crisis. I was scared and terrified. I wanted to hide. But because I have a solid core group of friends that I could call on, I got out of my own way and reached out for help. I reached out to hear a friendly voice, to receive guidance and advice, to receive peace of mind, to get my fears and concerns off my chest. There is nothing worse than keeping something inside and letting it fester and build. I called a good friend of mine and he was amazing in terms of providing emotional, spiritual and practical support. I called another friend immediately afterwards and he too provided emotional, spiritual and practical support. But he also added another component that moved me even further towards action and handling what I was going through.

After getting off the phone with these two amazing friends, I felt SO MUCH BETTER. I was armed with tangible plans I could execute to handle my crisis. I was no longer in my head. I was no longer at affect. I was in front of my crisis. I was in present time and proceeded to quickly implement their suggestions. Long story short, I was able to handle my crisis later that day with success. And one of the friends I called earlier offered to be there with me when I did so. Without them, I would have faced a darker fate.

I’m truly blessed that I have people to call. This actress doesn’t. Looking back, I realized two things:

1) I am grateful because I am surrounded by TRUE, ride-or-die friends that I have nurtured and cultivated in the time I’ve been out here in Los Angeles. It has taken me time to really create and manifest the kind of friends I want in my life. These people are my family. And as different as these two guys are, they are similar in many ways as well. They both provided near-identical advice. They spoke the same language. They handled me with love and care. I am surrounded by friends and a community of artists that speak the same language and that take care of each other in beautiful and honest ways.

2) I could have easily called up at least 10 more friends and they would have been just as helpful. An abundance of options. And they too would have spoken the same language that my two male friends did. This is what I mean in terms of really creating and nurturing the type of people I want in my life. There is a common through line that flows through each person and any one of these people would have provided their support without hesitation.

I’ll say it again: Community is vital. It’s why I love studying at the RLS so much. We are a community. We foster and protect that. We understand the importance of supporting each other. Your win is our win. You can not travel on any road by yourself. Pursuing any career takes a group effort. Pursuing life takes a group effort. You can not do it alone.

Recently, Richard gave an ultimatum to a fellow student and friend of mine: Get your apartment together in one week or you’ll be kicked out of class for all time. Basically, Richard put this student on “terrorist apartment”. This was the first time anyone has ever been put on terrorist apartment and it was drawn from the concept of “terrorist theater”.

Terrorist theater was created by master teacher and director Milton Katselas as a way to get actors-who should be working in the industry-working. If an actor had been in class for a while, but hadn’t been working professionally in the industry, then Milton or a fellow teacher would put the student on terrorist theater. The student then had six to eight weeks to book a paid acting job. If they didn’t, then they were kicked out of school for all time. They could never return, even if they won an Oscar. Terrorist theater lights a fire under asses and puts actors at a high level of cause. Because class means so much to them, and they don’t want to lose it, they begin to administer their careers at an exponentially higher level to get off of terrorist theater. They attack their careers in a way that they have never done before. “No” is not an option and they turn over every stone to book a job. It’s all about “yes” and they really understand the hustle it takes to get work. The success rate of terrorist theater is high and I have seen many students book paid acting jobs as a result of it.

So, this student was put on terrorist apartment because they have a long history of hoarding and it was affecting their personal and professional life. Previous soft attempts to handle their problem failed. Terrorist apartment was the final solution. Now, this student is a gem of a person. They put more hours into their career than anyone else. They put up more scenes in class than anyone else. They support their fellow artists more than anyone else. They are very talented and so fucking cast-able it’s not even funny. And so when this student was put on terrorist apartment, I became emotional because I knew how much they meant to me and to the RLS community. This student is like family and I didn’t want to see them go. And it was beautiful to see how quickly people in class rallied together that same night to help the student out. People stepped up and donated their time to support one of their own. I went over to their place with my friend Lindsay and we were there for three hours. It was such an honor and privilege to help and I felt a sense of spiritual rejuvenation. The community came together because this student is always there for them.

Look guys, what you put out there is what you get back. And I don’t mean in a superficial, fake, phony way. Give and support in genuine, loving, caring ways. Give because you care and because you give a shit. Give because that’s what community and love is all about. Because at some point, we will all be in a position where we will need love and help as well.

Find a community. Or build one. Know the type of people you want to surround yourself with and why and make that happen. Community is so important!

I am so honored, blessed and grateful to have my close group of friends, but I am also thankful to have an amazing and inspiring community at large like the RLS. There is nothing more satisfying than giving back and helping because there were times where I needed help and I received it. I remember a time when I didn’t have money for food. I was so strapped for cash. And I’ll never forget the delicious, hearty meals that DawnMarie Ferrara and Nayo Wallace prepared for me until I could get back on my feet. I’ll never forget how KC Sterling and Michael Manuel Sanders offered to design my first apartment in LA and brought my design concepts to life. I’ll never forget Jonathan Mateer for taking me into his home after I broke up with my ex so that I could start a new chapter in my life and heal on different levels. I’ll never forget Angie Russell and Michael Manuel Sanders for giving me rides home after class whenever my car was in the shop. Angie Russell for creating care packages for me. I’ll never forget Geri Atos for buying me a brand new iPad Air so I wouldn’t fall behind on my work when she discovered I was computer-less. I’ll never forget all the times Richard Lawson picked me up when I wanted to quit and encouraged me to go on. I’ll never forget Taylor Hawthorne for stepping up to be the first AD on a pilot I directed. I’ll never forget the countless persons that have hired me as a career administration consultant to put extra money in my pockets. I can go on and on. So there is no greater feeling than giving back.

Now, am I always able to give back? No. And when I’m unable to, I feel awful. But when I do give, I fucking give. Here are a FEW recent examples of me giving back to my friends and community: Being an extra on the set of a fellow classmate’s first short film that she wrote; going to see a fellow classmate in a play; going to see fellow friends in a hilarious monthly show called “Rise and Shine With Bette and Juliette”; giving money to a classmate’s fundraising campaign; texting my friend everyday to make sure she filmed her original character and uploaded the videos onto YouTube; watching and promoting various works by friends, classmates and peers on YouTube, on TV or in the cinemas.

Whether it’s the entertainment business or another business, you can’t go on the journey alone. And in your personal life, you can’t go on the journey alone either. Community is vital. Community is essential. Community has saved me. Whenever Richard talks about the importance of community, he always brings up this quote by American anthropologist Ralph Linton–and I couldn’t agree more:

“All human beings live as members of organized groups and have their fate inextricably bound up with that of the group to which they belong.”

Interestingly enough, this quote can be about positive or negative groups. Hopefully, you choose to create and cultivate positive groups.

Thank you to my friends. Thank you to my community. I would not be where I am today without your love, friendship, care, guidance and tough love.

By the way, my friend got off of terrorist theater! So go win that Oscar now and bring it back home baby!

Chasing The George

Shaking The Tree!

On Friday, October 16th, I had the honor of participating in the “Shaking The Tree” series. Created by the amazingly talented actress and human being, Eileen Galindo, it is a monthly series in which invited artists gather around a table and share stories around a given theme in front of a live audience. This month’s theme was “Skeletons In The Closet” and we were given the freedom to interpret that as we saw fit.

This month’s gathering of artists included myself, actresses Patricia Richardson, Eileen Galindo, Rose Portillo and Rena Strober. Stories ranged from reconciling with family ghosts to near-death experiences to self-discovery to discovering truths about great great grandparents during the Civil War. And as diverse as we all are in terms of coming from different walks of life, it was amazing how we all bonded as each beautiful story was told. There was something healing and cathartic about hearing personal slices of people’s lives. We all connected to at least one thing in every story that was shared. By the end of the night, we felt closer. We had a human experience. We connected to each other as human beings. I no longer saw Patricia Richardson of “Home Improvement” fame or Rena Strober of Broadway fame (she sang by the way and my GOD, what a VOICE!) I didn’t see Eileen and Rose of various TV series and feature films and commercials. I saw human beings.

That’s the beauty of art. Art brings us all together to experience something greater than ourselves. People were moved, impinged and affected throughout the night. There were laughs, gasps, “amens”, more laughs, beautiful pregnant pauses and moments of silence, more “amens”, tears and more laughs.

And that’s the beauty and intention of the “Shaking The Tree” series: To bring people together and learn from each other. The artists and audience members were inspired and walked away with a new perspective and understanding of someone from another walk of life.

I shared an entry from my blog (the one about discovering my true voice) and I modified it somewhat to fit the theme of the evening. Something came over me when I read it in front of everyone. I felt such a moment to moment connection with everyone which was reciprocated during my story and afterwards on a break. I resonated on a high frequency level. Art. Boom.

Thank you again Eileen for the opportunity!

Funny Things I Said On Set

Chasing The George

Shooting a feature film in NYC has been wonderful. From on-location shoots at Radio City Music Hall to iconic fashion photographer Francesco Scavullo’s three-story townhouse on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, this experience has only reinforced my love for being an artist. I am truly grateful and I want more. I will have more.

And in a massive city filled with millions of people everywhere, it was amazing to see how much I stood out. At first, I thought it was because I wore an LA hat. Then, I quickly realized it was because of who I am. My spirit, my life force, my joy of what I do and who I am. Many people were intimidated, inspired and drawn to me. My influence wasn’t just limited to the world of LA. So witnessing my impact on others confirmed even more the power I have as an artist and how I can truly change the world.

And since this blog is about my weekly experiences as an artist, I thought it would be cool to share with you some of the funny things I said on set. Enjoy! And see you soon LA!

I said on set:

“Okay!”

“Okaaaayy!”

“Hold on, I’m still putting on my strap on.”
————-

Lead Actor: “I read a book that started with the line, "Joe inserted his big black dick inside her taunty pussy.”

Me: “Do you still own that book?”
————-

“I would eat that salmon all night long.”

“Okaaaayy!”

“Shake it, bitch!”

“I thought she was spelling ‘Dietrich’, as in ‘Marlene Dietrich’”
————-

As we’re getting shuttled to the next location, I sat next to a crew member in an Infiniti SUV:

Crew member: “Ouch, your ass bone just poked me.”

Me: “That’s not my bone.”
————-

“I’ve been told that I’m the size of a baby’s arm.”
————-

A crew member looks at the hashtags I used on an Instagram post:

Sound Operator: “Hashtag Gay Mexico?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m international.”
————-

“You think I’m going to pay $40 million for a townhouse on the Upper East Side of Manhattan only to look out at all of this horrid, loud, nasty traffic?! Get the hell out of here!”

“Okaaaayy!”
————-

Me: “Sorry, I keep digging into your butt.”

Director of Photography: “I don’t mind.”
————-

“Okaaaayy!”

“He’s in the Bronx where he belongs.”

“Not today, Satan, not today.”

“Okaaaayy!”
————-

Towards the last day of filming, I walked around in a red towel because NYC got hit by a tropical rain storm and my pants had gotten wet.

Crew Member: It looks like you’re walking around in a bath house.

Me: We’re all family at this point.
————-

“Okaaaayy!”

Chasing The George

Filming In NYC.

One of my goals for 2015 was to shoot on location. Cut to September 26th and I am landing in JFK Airport to shoot a feature film. Saturday was spent with immediate family and the BROOKLYN accents were strong, alive and representing. Quick first-day timeline for your amusement:

4:45am Running out of the building like a mad man to catch the car to the airport. I became that asshole who runs late. I guess I got caught up listening to the original Broadway cast recording of “Little Shop of Horrors” while I was getting ready.

4:47am As we drive down Hollywood Blvd., I start getting a little sad. The first thing that pops into my head is, “I’m gonna miss all the stores that sell stripper/hooker attire.”

4:55am After getting over my sadness and getting excited for my work-cation, I can’t resist the urge to log onto Lavendr and start swiping left and right. I say to myself, “Hey, you never know. Maybe I’ll find Mr. Right before I fly down to NYC.”

5:07am We pick up another passenger. Last name, Dong. I thought she said “Dung”. Look, I’ve had 3 hours of sleep each night for the last seven days…

5:12am. We’re driving south on Highland Ave. and through the beautiful neighborhood of Hancock Park. I wonder if Hancock Park resident Shonda Rhimes is up?

5:26am I have nothing to write about.

5:30am We drive into LAX. When I see the large LAX letters to my left, I think of the “Lost” episode titled “LA X”.

5:48am A cute TSA agent pats me down. This is most likely the only action I’m getting while in NYC.

5:56am I’m starving. It’s time to eat. I’m ready for the overpriced everything. Burger King is definitely not an option unless you want me shitting all the way to NYC.

5:59am I realize I’m wearing an LA hat. I’m so literal.

6am Waiting in line to purchase a water and a simple turkey sandwich. This is the best LAX can offer at the moment.

6:01am $12.81 later for a water and a simple turkey sandwich. Give me a God-damn break. Two words: Write off.

6:05am How is it possible that in 2015 there aren’t any electrical outlets to plug my iPhone into?

6:15am A two-year old cries. Please don’t be on my flight. Please don’t be on my flight. I immediately quote Frank Underwood from “House of Cards”, “I’m not going to lie. I despise children. There, I’ve said it.”

6:26am I get emotional for three seconds because the last time I flew to NYC, I did so with my ex. This time, I’m flying by myself.

6:40am Time to drop the kids off. I’m very particular. I pack baby wipes. And I’m very thorough. Very thorough.

6:55am I place a call to my mom to check in with her.

7:06am Getting ready to board the plane. We are scheduled to depart at 7:30am and arrive in NYC at 3:55pm. Upon first glance, it seems like a long flight. But it’s due to the time difference. In other words, when our plane takes off, it’s 10:30am in NYC. And the two-year old is not on this flight. Thank God.

7:15am Selfie time. One take only as I hate selfies. This picture will kick off today’s blog entry. Not bad considering I’ve been sleeping three hours each night for the past seven days…and I’m hung over (Boom!) Thank you Sayaka Miyatani for the bottle of champagne!

7:30am Time to sleep!

This is where my iPhone shifted into Central Time:

11:15am I get up to stretch my legs and use the bathroom. I walk dizzily down the aisle towards the bathroom. I am definitely hung over (Boom!)

11:32am I can’t fall back to sleep because the guy across from me is absolutely gorgeous. I’m marveling over how immaculately groomed his facial hair is. Till this day, I still don’t know how to keep my facial hair on point.

1:35pm I wake up. I guess I WAS able to fall asleep again. I fall back asleep.

This is where my iPhone shifted into Eastern Time:

3:42pm I wake up and become emotional when I see Lower Manhattan and the new World Trade Center building. I’ve never seen the magnificence of this building before in person.

3:55pm I grab my carry-on luggage and exit the plane. My brother-in-law picks me up in his fabulous BMW (I joked to him that I felt like I was receiving the Hollywood treatment by being picked up in a BMW.)

And the rest of the day was catching up with family–refer to the first paragraph 🙂

I look forward to filming on location!

The Hustle

Chasing The George

“I’m always so impressed when I see the breakdown of what you’ve done, the minutes, the hours. So just something to consider for your blog in the future is: Taking a screenshot of your week, broken down, so that you’re not just sharing these experiences, but this is evidence of the hustle. Cause it inspires us and I know it will inspire others.”

Thank you to the incredible Beth Pennington for inspiring today’s blog post. I have taken three screenshots of a typical week for me. In these pictures, you will see the work, the hustle. The work speaks for itself. I hope that these pictures will inspire artists to do the same amount of work (or more) because of the following, all-too-familiar story, that I’m about to share. The story that many of us have unfortunately experienced before. These pictures help me to combat the naysayers. These pictures are my weapons against the doubters and invalidators.

My fellow artists, have you ever been in a situation where someone has asked you, “What do you do for a living?” And you reply, “I’m an actor” or “I’m a writer”. And then the person usually replies with a fake response of like, “Oh, an actor.” Their subtext being, “Great. Another wannabe actor.” You hear their subtext and you start back
peddling your answer, “Yeah, I’m an…actor…you know, I act…sometimes…yeah…but I’m a really great bartender. I can make a killer martini!” You start feeling ashamed and embarrassed to be an actor or any other artistic profession you are pursuing.

Then, they continue their invalidating process with questions like, “Sooo, what have you done?” “What have you been in?” “Are you making money as an actor?” “What have you written?” “Have you sold one of your scripts?” “A screenwriter, huh? Are you with CAA?” And the artist starts to sink further and further into the black hole. They feel small and worthless and the invalidator loves that. I used to be that person that was ashamed of saying, “I’m an actor.” I used to believe that in order to be an actor, I had to be working all the time on a professional level. I fell for that awful perception that a person is only an actor if they’re on a TV series or acting in a studio feature film. And that’s just not true.

I have been fortunate and blessed to be with a teacher and school that has taught me about the bigger picture, how to administrate it and how to be the best actor and artist I can be (The Richard Lawson Studios) I am now confident in telling people that I am an actor AND a writer. I have no shame in telling people that this is what I do. Point. Blank. Period.

I have developed a clarity and a work ethic that allows me to treat my career as a business. We are a business. We need to clock in and out like any other profession and put in the work and the hours. We need to know what we want and go after it on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. We need to be about it. Then, and only then, can we have the confidence to say that we are an actor. Or a writer. Or a director. Or a whatever. Why? Because we now have the evidence, the proof, the statistics to back us up and give us confidence.

When someone tries to invalidate me or write me off as “another wannabe actor”, I quickly shut them down with charm, humor and irony. They’ll ask, “So, what do you do for a living?” I reply, “I’m an actor and writer.” Then, they’ll ask with their sarcastic, doubting tones, “Oh yeah. What have you been in? What have you written?” I give them my business card and say, “If you go to my IMDB page, you’ll see what I’ve been in.”  In this way, I’m directing traffic to my IMDB page and simultaneously raising my IMDB Star Meter 🙂 Then, I say, “There you will see the independent feature films, TV series and web series I’ve been in.”  I also continue with:

**I’ve also shot a handful of national commercials from Toyota to The Hartford Financial Services to Verizon

**I’m currently shopping two TV pilots

**I’m currently shopping one feature film and just finished writing another feature film for James Franco

**I’m in scene study class every Thursday night and the Professional Development Program 2.0 class every Friday morning

**I’m targeting different TV shows, show runners, producers and casting directors with tangible results

**I run a blog and post a new blog entry every Sunday morning

**I utilize social media on a daily basis and have lots of fun with it

**I acted in a feature film in April; I have another feature film receiving distribution in which I play a principal character in that; I was offered a principal role in another feature film that is in active pre-production

**I put in an average of 35 hours a week into my career, and that’s on top of my plan B job

**Ultimately, my goal is to be the next Tyler Perry, Lena Dunham, Cristela Alonzo, Tina Fey, Mindy Kaling, Louis C.K….self-producing artists who create vehicles for themselves

People either shut the fuck up real quick because they see that I’m not just “another actor” or they get really interested and want to know more about me.

So, I’m sharing three pictures of what a typical week looks like in terms of my administration and the amount of time I put into them. Not to show off, but to hopefully inspire. And I’m not just putting in hours for the sake of putting in hours. Rather, every line item and every minute spent is to push a specific project forward. There are no arbitrary actions in my lists. In 2015, I have completed three projects on my plate and just started a new one:

Get a meeting with Creative Artists Agency and Anonymous Content.

(Thank you to the amazing Lindsay Hopper for pushing me to create this project and reach for the top!)

Earlier, I said that these pictures are my weapons because the work doesn’t lie. The stats don’t lie. I can show you everything I’ve done since the first week of January 2015. The invalidators can’t argue against that. They can’t put that down. Every strategic line item of work speaks for itself.

So, fuck the nay sayers. Fuck the doubters. Fuck the invalidators. Fuck the people who want to put you down because you’re doing what they’re too afraid to do themselves. Or because they’re jealous of you and want to bring you down to their level. Fuck them. Don’t let them make you feel bad about being an actor or a writer or a director…a FUCKING ARTIST.

But you will have a better chance of standing up to them when you’re putting in the work and can back yourself up with actions. At least that’s been my experience. When I’m walking the walk, creating the evidence, being about it, putting in the work on a
daily basis, going to class and staying sharp with my craft, and most importantly, HAVING FUN, then nobody can take that away from me.

Before we jump to the commercial break–I mean, the pictures below–I leave you with this amazing quote from Madonna. This was her response to all the critics who continue to write her off:

“It makes me realize how miserable most human beings are and how instead of celebrating that someone could come from nothing and do something with their life, they have to try to tear you down. Because ultimately, people don’t want to be reminded of how little they’ve accomplished in their own lives.”

Let’s continue being the amazing fucking artists that we are! I would love to hear your experiences!

Please scroll down past the tags below to see the three pictures. I’ve taken out the names of some people and some TV shows on purpose. And you can click on each picture to enlarge the text:

Chasing The George

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

On August 22nd, 2015, I celebrated 13 years of living in Los Angeles! 13 years!

It feels like yesterday that I was still living in Brooklyn with my mom. I was at a real crossroads in my life. After 9/11, I knew that life was too short. And I knew that if I wanted to pursue film and TV fully, that LA was where I needed to be. I was so determined to get to LA, that I purchased a one-way airline ticket and didn’t tell my mom that I was moving until three weeks before my scheduled flight. She was so shocked that I gave her such little notice, but I had to make sure that no one, and I mean no one, had time to change my mind.

And in taking all of yesterday to reflect on and to celebrate the last 13 years, one theme emerged. As Madonna said above at the end of her 1995 music video for “Human Nature”: “Absolutely no regrets.”

I have none. I could easily have spent all of August 22nd lamenting all the losses and disappointments, both real and perceived, that I’ve had in the last 13 years. After all, 13 years is a fucking long time and anyone could easily fall into the dark side of regrets and the dark side of the woulda, coulda, shoulda: I could have worked more as an actor, I should have worked more as an actor, I should be at a better place in my life right now, I should have done this sooner, I should have learned that lesson earlier, if I only I knew back then what I know now, etc. But what a waste of time and energy that is.

Again, absolutely no regrets. I’ve never been one to look back…not for too long at least. There’s nothing I can do to change the past. I can only focus on today and how to make it count.

I spent yesterday celebrating how much I have grown as a person and as an artist. Celebrating the fact that I am STILL in the game and that I haven’t given up. I recently saw some pictures of people I went to college with on Facebook and I was shocked by how much some of them have aged. Aged because they gave up on their dreams. They lost that fire, that spark, that thing that made them youthful. That spirit left and life settled in. They are doing other things with their lives now. No judgments. I cast no
judgments. I’m just making an observation. People that I used to have a crush on in college have aged badly or gained so much weight. They’ve let themselves go. Meanwhile I, who used to be so awkward looking in college, have continued to age beautifully both inside and out. I still feel like a big kid sometimes. I’m still connected to my dreams. I still act, I still write, I still dance. I’m surrounded by a fantastic community of mentors and artists who keep me alive, vibrant and focused. Always have since 2002. Always will until the day I die.

When I first landed in LA, I broke down in tears at LAX. Shit just got real. I arrived. There was no turning back now. I came with one suitcase and a leather CD book containing 200 CD’s. I only knew one person out here. I had no job lined up. I had no apartment lined up. I had no family out here. All I had was my faith and determination that things would all fall into place.

And taking a line of dialogue out of the Madonna mythology, I got into a taxi and said, “Take me to the center of everything.” In the Madonna mythology, she arrived in NYC in 1977 with $35 in her pocket. She told the taxi driver to drop her off in the center of everything. So, he dropped her off in Times Square. My taxi driver dropped me off in
Beverly Hills. Now, I know some of you may be laughing, but the universe was quickly working in my favor. The taxi driver dropped me off at an Enterprise Rent-A-Car on Robertson Blvd., one block south of Wilshire Blvd. Little did I know that located just a couple of blocks south of Enterprise Rent-A-Car was the place that would become my second home for the next seven years, the Beverly Hills Playhouse.

I got my rental car and drove away. I turned on the radio and the first song I heard in LA was Kylie Minogue’s “Love At First Sight”. I’ll never forget that. It was a beautiful, clear, sunny day. I was vibrating with excitement. The only person I knew out here was a buddy of mine who I used to work with at a dance club in Manhattan. He was out here with his twin brother on business (I would later discover that their “business” was the escort business and they were marketing themselves as 2-for-1 all-American blond twins!)

They were renting a room at the Ramada Plaza West Hollywood. He said I could stay with him and his brother until I got my own place to live. Twenty four hours later, he got me an interview with the front desk manager and I got hired. I started work a few days later. The universe was taking care of me.  Within a week, I found a place to live in West Hollywood. The universe was taking care of me again.

My second day in LA, I ran into someone I graduated with from Vassar. I told him I moved to LA to pursue acting and he immediately recommended the Beverly Hills Playhouse (which is where he was studying) I called the BHP to schedule an interview. They accepted me and I began classes in the first week of September. I sat in the front row, on the edge of my seat, eager to learn and to be inspired. I could feel a palpable energy in the room that I have never felt before in a class (acting class or otherwise) When Gary Imhoff first walked into the room, the class cheered and gave him a standing ovation. I wasn’t expecting that at all!

I don’t remember if I stood up and cheered as well or if I remained in my seat. But what I DO remember was that as soon as Gary settled into his seat, I leaned back into my seat and I said to myself, “This is my teacher. This is my home.” I just felt it in my heart and in my gut. After the first day of class ended, I walked north on Wilshire Blvd. and saw the Enterprise Rent-A-Car! I immediately became emotional because I knew that the universe was taking care of me. It was a cool moment of experiencing something coming around full circle.

Everything was falling into place. LA was new and exciting. The weather was great. Palm trees galore. I had a place to live. I had a Plan B job supporting my Plan A game. I found an amazing second home at the Beverly Hills Playhouse. Kelly Clarkson was crowned the first American Idol on September 4th, 2002 (and honestly, her win was the only one that truly mattered) Then, within a month, I hated LA. And I would end up hating LA for the first year because I experienced everything from home sickness to hating public transportation to hating that nothing was 24/7 like in NYC. It wasn’t until I got my first car around my first year anniversary, for FREE, that I fell in love with LA. Having a car really turned my feelings around.

13 years later and I still love LA. LA is my home. I’m part of that very small percentage of New Yorkers who love LA and prefer it to NYC. When I fly into LAX, I always feel good to be back home.

Absolutely no regrets. I don’t regret calling every single agent in the agent book in 2002 to receive representation. I don’t regret walking into casting offices to drop off my headshot and resume. I don’t regret any career administration I’ve executed. I don’t regret putting one foot in front of the other. I don’t regret any scenes I’ve put up in acting class in the last 13 years. I don’t regret the personal and professional choices I’ve made. I don’t regret the people I cut out of my life in order to pursue my career. I don’t regret the people I cut out of my life who were not part of my career bus. I don’t regret the friends I’ve made and the friends I’ve lost. I don’t regret all the times I’ve danced in stores, supermarkets, beaches, streets, subway platforms, trains, bus stations, parks, etc. I don’t regret all the times I ran lines to myself in public places. I don’t regret all the times I rehearsed a scene in public with my various scene partners. I don’t regret rehearsing the diner scene from “Biloxi Blues” at the Silver Spoon Diner in West Hollywood and causing such a mess with my amazing scene partner that management banned us forever. Ironically, the Silver Spoon Diner is no longer around, but I am 🙂

I’m still here! I’m still in the game! Yesterday was a celebration of all the good things I have experienced here in LA. A celebration of all the wins and all the growth I’ve experienced. I started my day by doing DanceFitWalk at the Rose Bowl at 8am. I danced my ass off for an hour and a half with my DFW team. Then, I went home and showered and went to the beach to not only celebrate my anniversary, but to join a friend who was celebrating her birthday at the beach as well.

Then, I went to a restaurant and had an early dinner. Then, I bought champagne and put it in the fridge. And then, I ended the night dancing away with a cool friend I’m getting to know.

Celebrating these 13 years was about joy and happiness!

See you soon 14th year anniversary!

(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)

Work Ethic Is A Bitch

Chasing The George

Now let’s just set the record straight: I work hard. Always have, always will. Why?

A) I’m Latino, it’s in our DNA. Although, like I mentioned in a previous blog entry, this is one Latino who is not mowing your lawns or cleaning out your pools. Okaayyy. And as a Latino, a minority, I have to work twice as hard as my Caucasian male counterparts. Interesting fact: Did you know that SAG-AFTRA classifies everyone, except for Caucasian males, as a minority?

B) My mother instilled the value of hard work at a very young age. She wanted her children to achieve more than she did. As a result, she was incredibly militant when it came to our homework. She set the tone right away in pre-kindergarten. She wanted to make sure that we were turning in professional, excellent, clean-looking work. And I say “clean-looking” because all of our homework was hand-written on paper with a pencil.

When I was in elementary school, I would always do my homework at the dining room table. I had my Mead composition notebook and #2 pencil. And God bless my mother, because in order to save money and cut down on costs, she would buy me the generic, non-name brand pencils with the cheap erasers. So, if I ever had to erase a mistake, I was fucked because the eraser would smudge the graphite across the word or words I was trying to erase. The cheap eraser never made a clean erase. My mother would come over, see the smudge and then violently snatch the paper off the dining room table. She would then crumple it up in my face and say, “Do it again! You’re not turning in this mess to your teacher!”

My mom never pushed us to perfection, but rather, to excellence. She crumpled up the paper because she knew I could do better. That I could present a better product to my teacher. Was this smudge-filled homework the best work I could turn in? If not, then go back to the drawing board until I created the best work possible. And that philosophy has stayed with me throughout my life. As Richard Lawson would say, “Do Your Best And Forget The Rest”. Did you do your best? If so, great. Now forget the rest.

C) I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Nothing was ever given to me (except hand-me-downs LOL) I worked hard for everything in my life.

So, I work hard. Anyone who knows me knows that.

But MAN, working hard is a bitch. Work ethic is a bitch. This year alone, I’m averaging about 35 hours a week into my career. I hate being the nerd who misses out on countless events because I wanted to stay in and get this scene in my screenplay just right. I hate being the geek who has to schedule his best friend or family member into a 30-minute slot because I have an audition that I’m still carving out. Or because I have a second round of communications I need to draft up and execute for my target list of management companies. Or because I have rehearsal. Or because I have hours of relationship map building to administrate and execute. Or because I’m working on a pitch for another TV series.

I just turned down an invitation to hang out with a hot ex-military guy this past Friday night because I wanted to front load my career administration for the week instead (Friday is the start of the week for me) When I front load my work, then the rest of the week flows beautifully. But again, he was a HOT EX-MILITARY guy. Damn you work ethic! Work ethic is a bitch!

The Friday night before (August 7th), I was up till 12am re-cutting my dramatic reel to make it a stronger representation of my acting abilities. I spent three hours not only re-cutting my reel, but also fixing all the sound levels from one clip to the next to make sure they were all even and consistent. I wanted to make sure that I was creating the best product possible to send out to managers.

I normally wake up at 6am and go to bed at 1am. I hate it. Work ethic is a bitch. I love sleeping. I love my bed. Guys love my bed. Well, they love me more, but they love my bed too. It’s so amazingly comfortable and inviting. You think I want to get up while everyone else is still sleeping? You think I still want to be up while everyone else is sleeping? Sometimes, I’ll drive to a rehearsal or a fitness training in the morning and I’ll see people stumbling out of the clubs.

Work ethic is a bitch.

For the love of God, why can’t I just:

**Dance all day long

**Be at the beach all day long (Well, not Los Angeles beaches…the water is so fucking cold)

**Eat Belgian chocolate pudding from Trader Joe’s all day long

**Drink champagne all day long

**Watch Madonna videos all day long and recreate them…again

**Be on Tindr, Lavendr and Grindr all day long (what is it with these online dating/hook up sites ending with the letter “R”?)

**Hook up all day long

**Have sex all day long

**Travel around the world

**Get a full body massage all day long

**Drive around in a luxury car with friends all day long

**Binge watch different TV shows on Netflix all day long

ETC. ETC. ETC.

But then I take a step back and realize that today is Madonna’s birthday. 57 years ago, on August 16th, 1958, Madonna Veronica Louise Ciccone wassent from heaven and was born in Bay City, Michigan.

Madonna NEVER has to work again in her entire life. She has nothing left to prove. She IS the Queen of Pop. She created the template from which all female (and some male) pop stars draw from. She obliterated the restrictions on what women could do and should be. She changed and crafted pop culture. She was the M in MTV. She has more top ten singles (38) on the Billboard Hot 100 than any other solo artist. She has more number one singles (46) on a singular Billboard chart than any other artist. Forbes named her the richest musician in 2013. She is currently worth more than 800 million dollars. She’s about to embark on another massive world tour to support her latest album, “Rebel Heart” (which is my favorite Madonna album of all time now). She evolves. She progresses. She looks forward, never back.

She can retire TODAY. But since the beginning, Madonna has had a powerful work ethic. She is one of the hardest, most professional, most consistent artists out there. She is a work-a-holic. A perfectionist. She oversees every single aspect of her career…down to the earrings a dancer wears to the nail polish that an extra is wearing on her film sets. When on tour, she does a full run through of every show before the actual show starts at 8pm. She’s the first one to clock in and the last one to clock out. 12 hour-plus days. She has more energy than people half her age. Answering a question on how she continues to amass her fortune and not be taken advantage of financially, she once famously replied, “Because I actually read the contracts.”

She directs feature films, runs a clothing and fragrance line, has written children’s books, raises four beautiful children, builds schools in Malawi, etc.

Her work ethic is INCREDIBLE because she is driven by her purpose, her raison d’être (reason for being or existence) She still has so much to say. She loves what she does. She knows her responsibility and power as an artist.

Hmmm, 57 years old and worth more than $800 million dollars? Still relevant and provoking people to wake up and be better versions of themselves? Maybe work ethic isn’t so bad. I mean, do I want to spend all day getting a massage, or do I want to add another hour to my rehearsal so that at the end of the day, I can walk away cleanly because I did the best work that I could do? I’ll take the latter.

Work ethic is not a bitch. Work ethic is my BITCH. I work hard because I love what I do and because I have something to say. I work hard so that everything I present is the best work possible. I work hard so that I can have pride in what I share with others. I work hard so that at the end of the day, I don’t have any regrets or skeletons haunting me saying, “You should have worked harder. You could have done better.” I work hard because the payoff is wonderful.

Work ethic has been my weapon in staying sharp, ready and current. Work ethic has never let me down. The greats are great and stay relevant because of work ethic. Things move forward and happen when work ethic is involved.

With all this talk about work ethic, I can’t leave out the importance of celebration. I have gotten much better at incorporating celebration more and more into my life. To celebrate the wins and achievements along the way. To do my best work and then celebrate. Celebrations remind me of my progress, my journey and my wins. Large wins, small wins, celebrate them all. I have purchased art work, gotten massages, purchased champagne, etc. to mark my wins.

For example, I mentioned earlier that I front-loaded my work this past Friday night. And guess what? That hot ex-military guy reached out again today to hang out. This time, I said “Yes.” I can afford a celebration tonight for the work I did on Friday.

“Holiday! Celebrate!”

Thank you Madonna and Happy Birthday.

I Can’t Act!

Chasing The George

On August 2nd, 2015, my scene partner and I began our first rehearsal for a scene we’re putting up in class. We met at a neutral midway point since we both live far away from each other. And “neutral” meaning no coffee shops and no restaurants. Somewhere where we could sit down with minimal to no distraction and start digging into our scene work.

We settled on a small park that was inhabited by a handful of people. It was a very quiet park and we both knew this was a perfect setting for our first rehearsal. We sat on the lawn and became really excited to start working together on this powerful scene. We pulled out our scripts and before we even read one line, we talked about the movie: Our observations; our relationship to each other as these characters; where in the movie this scene took place so that we understood the magnitude of the event and evaluation of what was going on; questions that I had; questions that she had; we talked about how to effectively rehearse and what today’s rehearsal would encompass.

Everything was going great! We were quickly getting on the same page. We were bouncing ideas off of each other. We were very “yes, and…” Meaning that we were building upon our ideas: “Yes, that’s great and how about…”, “Yes, and I can bring this…”, “Yes, and if I do this, then…”

Again, everything was going GREAT…

…Until we read the scene for the first time.

OH MY FUCKING GOD! I WAS SO AWFUL. As soon as I started saying my first line, I was like, “I should quit acting right now. Who the fuck am I kidding? I’m terrible! I can’t act.” That’s right. I said it. I’m a terrible actor and I can’t act. I should just move to Hawaii and open up a surfboard shop by the beach (LOL Does this sound familiar, DawnMarie?) As I continued saying each of my lines in the scene, I could hear discordant piano chords gradually getting louder in my head. Each off-key, jarring chord made my body twitch and jump. My head kept cringing more and more to the left. I could hear missiles getting closer to hitting their target (the target, by the way, was me!) I could hear nails scratching against the chalkboard.

Even WORSE, I could see all of fellow Vassar grad Meryl Streep’s 18 Oscar nominations flashing before my eyes. My eyes crossed. My vision got blurry. I may have even slapped myself to snap out of it and become present again. My scene partner–thinking I was making an inspired, bold choice in the moment–slapped herself as well. I looked up at her and saw Meryl Streep sitting across from me, pointing and laughing hard, while she was surrounded by her 3 Oscars, 8 Golden Globes, 2 SAG Awards, 2 Primetime Emmys and countless other awards. And just when I was about to lose my mind, we finished reading the scene.

Depleted, exhausted and shaking, I looked up at my scene partner and said, “That was really cool. Let’s read it again.”

LOL!

What I just described is an interesting phenomena that occurs 80% of the time when I first pick up a script for scene study class or sides for an audition. The first read through is so horrendous and I always question my abilities as an actor. Does anyone else experience this? If so, I’d love to know why it happens to you too. And look, I’ll be honest, Meryl Streep has never laughed at me, but I’ve heard and experienced those discordant piano chords. I think part of it has to do with starting from scratch. I’m picking up a script again for the first time and embarking on a brand new, unknown journey. I’m starting with a clean, blank slate that I now have to start filling in and piecing together bit by bit. It’s that first step into the unknown that is the worst.

Bottom line: Can I build another scene from scratch again and deliver a fully-realized performance? (Even though I have delivered fully-realized performances countless times before.) Will this finally be the scene where people discover that I can’t act? That I am a sham artist? That I am a fake?

However, by the second read through of the script or the audition sides, I feel better (That’s how I felt when my scene partner and I read through the scene again.) I got through and survived the first read. I got it out of my system and no longer felt this expectation to deliver an Oscar-winning performance. I am now open to actually receiving what’s on the page. And then I read the script or audition sides a third time. And then I read it again. And again. And again. Each time, I gain more understanding of what’s happening. I know which questions to ask. The picture comes into focus more and more.

I believe another reason for this phenomena is that I want to know and have all the answers right away. Instead, I have to remind myself that part of the journey with rehearsing a scene or preparing for an audition is the willingness to have patience and not know the answers right away. To trust that by doing the work, the answers will eventually come. The “ah ha” moments will hit me along the way.

And like I mentioned earlier, this phenomena doesn’t always happen. There is that remaining 20% where I immediately connect with a new scene and I know exactly what’s going on and how to play it. Interestingly enough, however, whenever I have to do a cold reading at an audition (where the casting director gives you the sides on the spot and you have a few minutes to look them over), I DON’T experience this phenomena. With cold reads, I put no pressure or expectation on myself because it’s a COLD read. I know that they know that the performance I’m delivering is based upon the few minutes I’ve spent with the sides. I have a few minutes tops to figure out what’s going on in the scene, what’s the relationship between my character and the other character(s) in the scene and to make one or two strong choices that supports the story.

My scene partner and I have had more rehearsals since our initial one and I am having fun with the process. I am gaining more clarity and certainty with the scene and with my character. I am honoring my genius and instincts. The unknown is no longer an issue and doesn’t scare me anymore. I am piecing together the wardrobe of my character and have taken my character public on two occasions so far. By taking the character public and interacting with people, I’m enhancing my belief as this character. If the public believes who I am, then my belief is enhanced as well.

We are exploring subtext. We are figuring out WHY we are saying each line. We are looking at the chapters in the scene (a new chapter occurs when there’s a dynamic shift in the scene). We are looking at our relationship. What makes this night different from other nights? What’s the moment before? What is this moment about over here? Why do I turn off the music? I bonded with my scene partner’s child this past Monday for a few hours because in this scene, I’m arguing with my sister about the way she’s raising her child (my nephew). I need a nephew. I need to have a real kid that I can connect with and fall in love with and fight for. My scene partner and I even took a picture with him so that I can frame it and make it part of our set (Specifics equals belief) We had another great rehearsal today where we connected to what the scene was about!

So our rehearsal process is progressing beautifully.

What allows me to build confidence in my work is a set of solid training tools which helps me to create and construct things from scratch. To take words on a page and bring them to life. Tools are vital. Without them, you’re fucked. You’re kind of hoping and praying that you’ll get lucky and deliver a great performance. And let’s say you DO deliver a great, solid performance. Great! But you have no idea how you did that. How you got there. So, when you’re asked to repeat it either by an acting teacher, a casting director or a film director on set, you’re fucked because you don’t know how to repeat that experience or moment. You were just winging it. I’m glad I have tools to work with to help me understand how I got there and how to repeat a performance. I have structure that helps me be free and play within it. I’ve done the work. Now I can go play.

So whatever your acting training is or wherever you currently study, use those tools to embark on the journey of the unknown and into the known.

And yes, I CAN act. See you soon, Meryl Streep.

How I Secured An Agent In 6 Weeks

Chasing The George

In June 2015, I had 4 agent meetings in 2 ½ weeks. And not just any old agent meetings. These were agents that were on my target list. By June 30th, I signed a year-long contract with one of them. The length of time it took me to secure a new agent was about six weeks. Let me share what I did.

In mid-May, I received an email from my former agent saying that they were dropping me. I had been with them for a year and I sensed that the writing was on the wall because our year-long affair didn’t produce any results. I won’t sit here and point fingers and blame because I’m all about learning from the lessons and applying them to the future.

So, I didn’t have representation. I felt naked. I felt like I was starting all over again. This was the first time in years that I didn’t have representation. The prospect of starting all over again was daunting at first. But then again, I love rising to challenges. I definitely knew that I didn’t want months to go by without having representation. I knew that I wanted to secure great representation in a short period of time.

The first step in assembling my dream team was to be clear about and to identify the type of relationship I was looking for. I had to be clear about the relationship I was going to have with this agent(s) for the next six months to a year. It’s no different from online dating. You set filters and parameters in terms of what you are looking for. You are very specific so that your search results yield close to or exactly to what you’re looking for. So if you’re going to be that specific when it comes to online dating, why not be as specific as to who you are going to have on your team for your career? Or as my teacher and mentor, Richard Lawson, says, “Who is on your career bus?” I reached out to my friends and shared with them what I was looking for–and if they liked their agents, could they refer me.

I knew that I wanted to create a career marriage, a career partnership, between myself and the other agent(s). Where there would be accountability, communication and hustling. Where I would receive their support and belief in my vision and dreams. I think it’s important and vital that an agent supports a vision that an actor has for themselves. And that the agent is willing to say, “Yes and…” and “Have you also tried this?” and “How about exploring this over here in order to help get what you want?” An agent that loves actors who are pro-active in their careers and administrate it on a daily basis. An agent who loves actors and loves what they do.

The second step I took, after I identified the type of relationship I was looking for with an agent, was to go on IMDb Pro. Not sure how many people are aware of this, but just as IMDb has a “Star Meter”–which ranks every single person in their database according to their popularity for the week–they also rank companies. When you log onto IMDb Pro, there is a link that says “Company”. Click on it and you will see a drop down menu which ranks agencies, management companies, production companies, etc. I selected “Talent Agencies”. At the time of this writing, the top 10 agencies included CAA, ICM, UTA, WME, Paradigm, Gersh, APA, etc. Now, looking at where I am in my career, my skill set as an actor and my credits, I probably would not be targeting these agencies. However, if I had an undeniable product that HBO or Showtime or The Weinstein Company wanted to acquire from me, then I would call any one of them for a meeting and representation.

So I knew that my target had to be boutique agencies who have working actors. They’re not A-listers, but B-listers who work all the time. And so I knew that I would start looking at agencies within the rankings of 75 to about 400. I didn’t want to look at agencies with rankings beyond 400. I didn’t want to look at any agency that had a ranking of 1,000, 2,000 or 3,000 because it makes me wonder how much pull, clout or influence they have to make a phone call and/or get me into the doors of different casting offices. **If your experience has been different, please let me know. But that was the policy I created for myself.

Another element important to me was to find an agency that was SAG-AFTRA franchised. “A ‘franchised agent’ is a person, firm or corporation that has entered into an agreement with SAG-AFTRA under which they agree to abide by certain rules and conditions when dealing with performers who work within SAG and AFTRA’s jurisdiction.” (taken from the SAG-AFTRA website) This ensures that the agency is working with your best interests in mind as a union, professional performer.

Now here comes the tedious part. Here comes the work. But when you do the work, then everything else flows quickly. Don’t believe me? Again, refer to my first paragraph and see how quickly I got an agent…because I put in the work. I clicked on every single agency on the list between rankings 75 through 400 and looked for a few things. I looked at how many agents the agency had. I looked at how many clients they had: Too many clients, I may get lost in the shuffle. I looked at some of their clients’ credits to see what they have booked. I looked to see if the agency had a website. If they did, I visited it. It helps when they have a website because it gives me a personal insight into their company. When I would visit the agency’s website, I would look for their mission statement, their company philosophy, “what we do”, “who we are”, “about us”, “about the company”, etc. Again, think of online dating. You read through a person’s profile to see if their statistics, their bio, their status speaks to you and what you’re looking for. If any agency didn’t speak to me and what I was looking for, I would move on to the next one. The agencies with mission statements or company philosophies that resonated with me, I entered them onto an Excel spreadsheet and took notes.

So once I compiled my target list of agencies that spoke to me and what I was looking for, I started crafting cover letters for each one. I wanted to make the letters specific to the agency that I was writing to. This is where I would refer to the notes that I jotted down next to each agency. If there was something cool or unique that stood out on their website, I would include that in the cover letter as well. I made the cover letters short, but effective. Remember, these are agents. They are incredibly busy people who don’t have the time to read a very long letter. All day long, they are on the phone pitching their clients, going through the breakdowns and submitting their clients on many projects, taking meetings, negotiating contracts, working out conflicts and receiving tons of submissions from other actors as well.

This is where the six-week journey began: The first round of emails went out on Tuesday, May 12th. The following Tuesday, May 19th, I followed up by mailing out a round of postcards to my target agents that said I was seeking a new dream team. A week later, Tuesday, May 26th, I followed up with another round of emails to my target agents. The email communication was slightly different since it was a follow up. That same day, I heard back from three different agents. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the answer I was looking for. They each informed me that they already had someone like me on their roster and so they didn’t want to create a conflict of interest. They were very nice and thanked me for reaching out to them. A couple of them even encouraged me to follow up in six months to see if they still repped the same person.

Later that same week, I started getting the answer I was looking for. Two agencies reached back to me and wanted to schedule a time to meet for next week (which puts us in the first week of June.) So that first week of June, I had two meetings set. When the first week of June arrived, I also received another request from an agent to meet the following week (the second week of June.)

I knew that outflow equaled inflow. That because I kept up the momentum, I finally started impinging on their universes. That’s three meetings right there. The fourth and last meeting I secured, interestingly enough, was an agency that I had somehow skipped over. On Saturday, June 13th, something compelled me to go back to the agency list on IMDb Pro. I did, and boom, I ran across this particular agency I somehow missed the first time around. When I clicked on their website, I was blown away by the company’s philosophy that actors need to treat themselves as a business. They want actors who are professional and who go after the careers on a daily basis. I was like, “Hell yeah! How did I miss this agency?!” I composed an email and sent it out on Monday, June 15th. Tuesday evening, I received a request from the owner of the agency to meet on Friday, June 19th.

To recap so far: First meeting June 2nd. Second meeting June 4th. Third meeting June 11th. Fourth meeting June 19th. Roughly 2 ½ weeks starting with the first meeting on June 2nd.

What I discovered in each and every meeting was the importance of being yourself. Because inevitably, the question that every single agent asked was, “So tell me about yourself?” That’s a question that’s hard for a lot of people to answer. People get tripped up on that question. But because of my training with Richard Lawson, and understanding the principles of politics, personality and craft, I was able to be myself and talk about myself. And not about being an actor. They know that. I talked about topics of interest with charm, humor and irony. I talked about growing up in Brooklyn when Brooklyn was the place you wouldn’t be caught dead living in. I talked about my ethnicity and how my older brother would call me a “dumb Rican” (I’m Dominican and Puerto Rican). I didn’t talk about my acting first because I knew that we would eventually get to that.

Which leads me to my next point: When the acting discussion eventually comes up, you have to know your product inside and out. Be prepared to tell them what you want and see for yourself. Be prepared to talk about your casting. Be prepared to talk about why you’re at the level you’re at in your career.

Your resume better be clean and professional. Your headshots better be clear and professional. You better have a monologue ready. You better have a scene prepared. You better understand the state of the industry today. You better understand writing and how to create content for yourself a la the Lena Dunhams, the Tyler Perrys, the Cristela Alonzos, the Mindy Kalings, the countless Youtubers, etc. You better know how to put yourself on tape for an audition as more and more casting directors are requesting taped auditions.

These agents wanted to see that I was clear about my product. These agents wanted to see that I was not green or inexperienced, pleading for a job. Pleading for them to hold my hand and do all the work for me. Because the reality is that they want you to do the work. You are a business. You are supposed to clock in and clock out like any other business. And many actors don’t seem to understand that. Every agent said to me that the actor is supposed to do the work. It is our job to be in class, to keep our headshots up-to-date, to understand the business of show business, to understand and utilize social media, to hustle, etc. When you come into the room with confidence, with life force, with your guns blazing, they appreciate that. Even if at the end of the day they don’t sign you, you at least booked the room and you’ve made an impression on them. They can look back and say, “This person is clear about what they want and they’re not new to the game. They’re serious about this business. They’re in it for life.”

In the end, two of the agencies passed on me. One is actually a manager who is deciding whether to take me on as an actor or as a writer (she’s currently reading two of my television pilots.) And the fourth agent–the one who I somehow missed the first time around on IMDb Pro–offered me representation on Monday, June 22nd. He was very excited to offer me representation and gave me up until June 30th to look over the contract, sign it and then get it back to him.

And there you have it. Well, my experience at least.

Chasing The Ambulance

Chasing The George

On June 26th, 2015, at approximately 12:30pm, my teacher and mentor, Richard Lawson, said to me in the Professional Development Program 2.0 class that I should start a weekly blog. A blog that chronicles my journey as an artist. The highs, the lows, the challenges, the wins and everything in between. I’ve been studying with Richard for almost 10 years now and everything I have learned about acting and administration has been because of him.

Richard has seen my growth and my journey over these last ten years. He has seen it all: My laughs, my tears, my compliance, my defiance, my doubts, my growth and my evolution from follower to leader.

2015 has been no exception. At the beginning of this year, Richard challenged all of us in this particular class to step up our game and go after our personal projects with passion, enthusiasm, professionalism–or as they say on the streets, go after it like a maw-fucking pitbull with lock jaw. And every week, he wants us to present our progress and our logged hours to him and to the class.

So far this year, I have been averaging about 35-37 hours a week into my career. Not bad considering I work 30 hours a week for Richard. I presented my latest career administration statistics today and Richard said, “In each of you, I see the whole thing. Or I see the potential of the whole thing. So what I just saw for you was–cause I look at your journey as an actor and I’ve been part of your journey for a lot of years, so I’ve seen the progression. And I’ve seen the periods and I’ve seen the changes. And as I looked at the last ten years, I said, ‘Now what if he had blogged about that all along the way? What if on a week to week, day to day, week to week, no less than week to week, that you wrote about your journey as an artist? The artist’s journey. And you talk about the things that you do, the things that you did, the goals for the week, whatever it is in your blog that you want to share. That you would be speaking to probably all or some of every artists’ journey. So that people can identify with the–I hate the word, there are certain words that I hate. I refuse to use those words in my vocabulary. Words like ‘Overwhelmed’. ‘Struggling’. And so for you to blog about that could be a major thing because you’re blogging it from a standpoint of having the actions, the clarity, the organization, the artistic warrior, the postulates, the dreams and then the manifestations so that you postulate, there are categories of things. From week to week, you can choose the subject because the subject is clear. And you establish the subjects. And then this week I’m talking about postulates. Talking about work ethic and what a bitch that is. That from week to week, people tune in because it’s like, ‘Yo. Let me get behind-’ You know what it’s kind of like? It’s like getting behind the ambulance. In New York, if you see an ambulance, you will see motherfuckers who will fight to get in line because you know the ambulance is cutting through. So you see this ambulance and you see this trail of cars that are weaving through cause it’s the only way they can get through because everybody who’s not in that line is stuck. So what I’m saying is that for you to do a blog and to have that and you chronicle your journey, big. Big. So that when you get there, you have a lot of people who could testify. They followed the ambulance.”

So here we are. Chasing The George. Not a play on the Kevin Smith film, “Chasing Amy”, but rather, “Chasing The Ambulance”. When an ambulance is in emergency mode, they zoom down the streets with intention and energy. The ambulance is direct and cuts through traffic. Some people chase after ambulances so that they too can get to where they need to go. “Chasing The Ambulance”.

So week to week, I will be sharing how I am cutting through to achieve the things I
see and want for myself. And hopefully, I will inspire some of you on your own personal journeys to keep going and not give up.